dril archive

Bad news folks! i waited in line for 16 hours to see the queen. But by the time i got there she was fuckin DEAD!!!!!!

no

age 0 (baby): I want my Dada .
age 25 (Millennial): I want my Data
Do you see how fucked this is?

Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Candles $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

absolutely block on sight

ants

its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town

now that i have the baneful blue mark, I undertand the pain ive wrought. i was wrong to torment dog coin guys. im jealous of their million's

dont worry i reviewed my profile myself and its still really good. please let me change my name back to normal now

if you ask me many of Americans have been wearing the mask even before from covid 19. the mask i refer to is of course the clown's mask.

in real life yoda would get eaten by a dog

i think if dogs could talk they would have the most racist opinions in the world, stuff that just blows normal human racism out of the water

In reply to slave to Woke

you can disaggrree with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislane Maxwells politics while still hanging out with them in photographs. Its totally fine

my friend the only crypto currency you wanna get your hands on is this: bird seed. There is a lot of birds and they all gotta eat

everyone less mentally ill than me is Privileged, everyone more mentally ill than me is Toxic, everyone equally mentally ill to me is Cool

so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement

IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

go ahead. keep screaming "Shut The Fuck Up " at me. it only makes my opinions Worse

( me after seeing two guys in any context whatsoever) Well well well if it isnt the Blowjob Brothers

HELP ELON!!ELON!! HELP! HELP! POST "DOG COIN"

its ok he fired the people in charge of telling him its illegal

I plead epic trolling, your honor

every generation deserves at least 5 movies named "Spider Man 2"

i truly believe that i will usher in a new era of peace and prosperity when i get every single post on hthis fucking website deleted by 2022

revealing the gender of my baby by eating a whole bunch of food dye and taking a huge pink shit in front of my relatives. ah!! its a girl !!

the entire time youre watching the movie 101 Dalmatians, youre just thinking, This is so many more dalmations than usual. It is just fucked

getting brain damage from pissing my self off

In reply to slave to Woke

building a pressurized 3000 mile long tube across the desert instead of a normal train is actually a really good idea. Always has been

Having a bad one; First my Lockheed Martin investment tanks after the ceo posts his penis. Now Cold stone Creamery just called me the N-Word

the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron"

if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

Buffalo wild wing gets $0 tip for serving "Bones" to me in chicken, if i had wanted to eat bones i would take my Ass to the grave yard

if you "clap back" someone with a PhD on here, you should be allowed to have their PhD. Its just common sense people. Oh that's tea

i deserve th e most mentally ill president imaginable. 99 year old babbling doofus. Send us into the volcano sir

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

"im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob

i really dont care what Yankee Doodle did when he went to town. His toxic fanbase tells me everything I need to know about him .

the list of white boy's with fat Dicks just dropped

wife is sad because we had to remove all doorknobs from our dreamhome since they were at the exact perfect hieght to go up my ass by mistake

wife is no longer permitting me to jack off in the car during her book club meetings. where am i supposed to jack off then? fucking EGYPT???

just found out about Object Permanence... why didnt any one tell me about this shit

thank you . this will make it way easier to block them all

issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the terror group ISIL. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"

Im the guy who asked them to remove Sex from only fans!!! I thought It would be nice!!! I didnt know it woiuld make people mad!!! Im sorry!!

the cdc requires that every bag of nuts has one that tastes like absolute shit for some reason

"your posts suck ass now " my posts have always sucked Ass . You are just mad at me for some reason

only gamers know whats this is

oi guv the old bird pissed it. I will miss her . Fuck

scientology brain. paint huffing used car dealer brain. pillhead grandma brain. shit stained herman miller brain #BlockTheBlueChecks

what combo of substances can i take to give myself PTSD during Avatar premier(IMAX). i wanna come out of there screaming like a vietnam vet

cant wait for this Cunt to take us to mars; no Sjw, no Girls, just us boys sitting around in 55.9m sq miles of waste land, swapping MEMES !!

If your grave doesn't say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war . Like and retweet

i cannot stress enough that my new song "Good town road" is not influenced by any other songs whatsoever

DUMBASS: SHut the fuck up
THE WISE MAN: No you shut the fuck up

inventing new character "George X. Bush" the most fucked george bush yet

now that elon has disposed of the left wing woke brigade I can finally post pictures of my COCK!!!

sorry im wrong. please dont block twitter blue users. please continue letting guys like this fill your time line

I think @dril should be banned for platform manipulation by encouraging others to mass-block users for this #BlockTheBlue #BlockTheBlueChecks campaign. An act that causes direct strain on twitters overall systems. "You may not use Twitter’s services in a manner intended to…

ELON HELP !!!! MY TESLA KILLED A KID

Its impossible for me to respect someone who is wearing an arm cast. UYou look like a mummy from egypt. Remove it

in a world where big data threatens to commodify our lives,. telling online surveys that i "Dont know" what pringles are constitutes Heroism

VERIFY!! VERIFIY THIS ACCOUNT! THE TROLLS ARE BREAKING IN THROUGH THE WINDOWS!! I NEED THE CHECK MARK !! NOW!! NOW!! NOW!!

just got word from a trusted source: the guy who said he would fuck his daughter on "The View" is in hot water for spelling hamburger wrong

big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

the coolest thing the police ever did was invent their own flag thats just a desecrated version of the american flag

oh no i accidentlally changed my name and lost my blue checkmark again. now people will think im a Virgin

im afraid i must say that i do not find the mysteries featured on "scooby-doo" challenging enough .

the only time isaid the "N word" i said it with perfect frequency/timing to intercept & cancel out the sound waves of another guy saying it,

looking at the data and simply laughing

i shou;ld be allowed on the roof of any building

ive flattened the curve over 100 times. what have you pricks been doing

they are inventing a new type of Lesbian in 2023 they just said it on CNN

reminder to the girls of this page that I will soon have $ 1400

Im thinking 2k20 is the year of "Shut the fuck up" . All repliers blocked. Absolute God mode

200k/yr media job where we all wear sweater vests, kiss each other & try to convince people biden is technically a "Molester" not a "Rapist"

wife wants to get the word "winefreak" tattooed, in the disney font. i told her she cannot join me in the kingdom of heaven if she does this

i regret to inform you, that by resorting to Swear language, you have forfeit this debate. Farewell my bitch

i just need to say, to anyone reading this.. You are Important, You are loved, and You belong in this world, if you have over 5000 followers

well its not working bitch. my numbers are still " SHIT "

Twitter is secretly boosting Elon Musk, Dril, and MrBeast for some reason https://www.theverge.com/2023/3/28/23659842/twitter-boost-elon-musk-dril-mrbeast-algorithm-accounts?utm_campaign=theverge&utm_content=chorus&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter

you say you smoke two packs a day? two packs of what, pal? shit?

#RespectThePolice alright done. what should I respect next. bugs? urine? im taking requests

beanie babies are just bit coins in real life

CHIEF: dracula is in our sights. Take the shot!
SNIPER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke!
ME (watching through binoculars): He's woke! He wont do it!

i love saiyng shit like "Yow! This kittens got Claws!" whenever a woman stabs me 38 times in the neck and chest

did it hurt when you fell from heaven and kissed my stupid ass you mother fucker

" I EAT SHIT " https://t.co/QJdUwdaQqF

Oops! another $50000 worth of nft ape shit got stolen from me some how. Weird!!! good thing i still have all 200 of my iq points

(hearing about a guy who died) wow thats like 0.0003 9/11s

children should learn Gambling basically asap aand fix the economy by winning big

w'ere leaving it in 2019...

i pray my IQ forever remains in the "Sweet Spot" wherein its high enough to call out the BS but too low to recognize the Futility of Posting

stainless steel? my ass. ill stain that mother fucker good

need to find out if the eagle tattooed to my sons chest is racist or normal

you know what wo uld be fun, would be if twitter hq just dumped a truck full of wet turds on my front lawn every day "In case I missed it"

In reply to slave to Woke

the only nfts i deal in are nerds in the Fucking trashcan. suck my Dick

my tweets bring people together, and unite this country even more than 9/11 did. every time i post its like 9/11 happening again

it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that the celebs are at it again

a man asks God, how am i supposed to live, without George H.W. Bush
God simply said "That is why I made 2 george bushs"
The man just smiled.

who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

In reply to Alan Dershowitz

@AlanDersh Hello Alan this is your lawer speaking. I am advising you today to please keep posting this shit

urine is not sterile. it has piss in it

"we dont deserve dogs" of course we deserve dogs shit head. before we bred the evil out of them they were basically giant rats

the year is 2043, men have gotten too much therapy and are now Masters of Deceit, using their supernatural mental health to get insane head

INSPIRING: After 20 Years-- Local Waitress Reunited With "78 I.Q." Police Officer Who Used Her As A Human Shield At The Age Of 11

guys who get off on being humiliated used to expose themselves at the grocery store or something. now they pretend to be journalists on here

bashing my skull against the steering wheel while screaming in my car for an hour; then coming on here pretending to be a Mental Health Guru

oh you dont like my AI generated crap? ill just AI generate some people who do. then ill AI generate $1000000 and a wife who likes my posts

peoplr would rather see macDonald's, than macbeth. and that's why all of this is going on

decades of jacking off "The stupid way" has got my whole dick looking crazy

Clean Ass , Clean Mind

saying "Looks like I struck a nerve ." in the gorup dm after posting "Pringles is white people doritos" and locking my account

my mouth feels very dry and my dick got a liuttle bit smaller last night. i think they started rolling out 6G

ME: please show me the posts in the order that they were made
COMPUTER: thats too hard. heres some tweets i think are good. Do you like this

theres a popular nursery rhyme in which the singer claims to be a teapot. this, for many children, is their first experience with "Trolling"

dogs love barking at me like 1000ft from their house. what are you a land surveyor. you don't know what a property line is bitch shutup

gorilla glue paid that woman to fuck up her hair and go viral and youre all pawns in gorilla glues game. not me though im a 200IQ journalist

just clicking my mouse a bit. having a look at my files

your mission is to get laid on gmail. delete all other apps, do not talk to me until you fuck. your mission is to fuck and suck on gmail

Can we stop the posts please guys. Can we all cool it with the gags, riffs, spoofs, and epic shit. People are trying to do mental health

should i learn Letters first? or choose the path of Numbers? a queston every baby must ask it self

your meltdown is worse than my melt down. you're spiraling harder than me bitch. im barely even showing my ass compared to you

JACKING OFF and committing FRAUD

hear this trolls: ive been secretly respecting the flag in the privacy of my garage for 12 hrs a day , maxing out its power to insane levels

listeing to the updated version of the "baby its cold outside" song where the guy's trying to convince the woman to leave so he can jack off

https://t.co/srv7wmLnBm

trying to convince my dying son to ask the make of wish foundation for a credit card with 0% APR

getting pissed off at the idea of someone going on to wiki pedia and changing the name of the japanese suicide forest to "Warios Woods"

venus sucks shit. if they find life there it's going to be a very small man curled into the fetal position yelling "FUCK THIS"

The Fact Remains That Your A Guy From Reddit, And Im A Guy Who Posts On A Website Thats Somewhat More Prestigious Than Reddit

(saying to group. of 7 girls) the lore surrounding the Addams family is actually quite a bit darker than you might think..and fairly Leftist

turning a big dial taht says "Racism" on it and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right

i want to beat the shit out of a ufo

We All Have That Friend Who Fucking Sucks

a month ago everyone was scared thy were going to die so they immediately grabbed as much toilet paper as possible & wiped thier ass with it

the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit

there`s no job harder than that of the Media Personality. there are so many massive pedophiles who you have to not accidentally say are good

wiping your ass is now officially Politics

love when i lose aobut 100 followers immediately after making a beautiful post. the weak shriveling up into dust. Thats called darwin

today i saluted the afghanistan vet who lives on my floor and said "Suck My Dick Sir! Mission Failed" then went home and dead lifted 300lbs

when you reply to a womans selfy with a picture of invader zim saying "Epic Need" it never fails. i have cheated on my wife over 400 times

drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not,

blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin

"gamer cock is in demand" Girls are saying this

thinking of inventing a new type of person to get mad at on here. maybe people who carry too many keys around.. i dont know yet

whats everyones favorite gas price? mine is $3.29

i hate it when doctors say Shit like "Take two and call me in the morning" . why dont yoy take two kisses of the butt crack of my ass

i do not appreciate twitter putting a satire warning underneath all of the posts where i say i am jacking off right now. it is NOT satire

I am their Father. I would burn my penis off with a lighter to make them even 1% happier. Onl y a Parent understand… https://t.co/RKZ4pKYRF7

its the weekend baby. youknow what that means. its time to drink precisely one beer and call 911

having to spell the word "lunch" instead of saying it so the boys don't get too excited

"oh youre sad because a judge died? thats so adorable" i say as i effortlessly list off 100 dead judges from simply my memory

enjoying some fairly darkweb shit

my heart goes out to people waking up from comas today & not believing the date actually is the number 2 repeated an insane amount of times

to the pyramid on the $1 bill calling itself the "all seeing eye" Fuck you. the only thing you can see from my wallet is the jeans of my ass

girls love rolling around in their sleep with long nails and waking up thinking every scratch on their body was caused by their dead grandma

my favorite feature of this site is absolutely no consequences for my opinions sucking ffucking ass and me being 100% wrong about everything

arms folded, back turned to the television, refusing to "Meet the flintstones" despite the theme song's pleas

i despise the toilet. id love nothing more than to kick it through the wall and shatter it into 100 shards of wet porcelain. But i need it

shut the fuck yp

scrolling on autopilot, mouth agape, clicking fav on all tweets with at least 1 or 2 funny words in them. zero human consciousness, perfect,

its apparent people arent taking these social distancing measures seriously. on my way to the gym i had 2 people suck my shit completely off

the nerve of this fucking mom and pop pizza joint hanging a framed $1 bill up. alright pal you're rich, we get it

pretty much like 80% of the cats in that movie are fake

id rather use it to buy food and shit but thank you

i hate i t when girls think im proposing whenever i take the knee at them in protest

In reply to slave to Woke

you just paid $8 to eat my ass stupid #BlockTheBlue

bill gates' dog is too dumb to even know his owner is a celeb. thats why i should be bill gates' dog. crawling around his mansion for treats

another blissfful day ignoring the fact that 75% of my peers on this site have been rejected from offline society for pretty good reasons

seems to me, life is aoubt "STICKS"
Age: 1-20 : Selfie Stick
Age 21-90: Walking stick

ok so twitter can just freeze all the verified accounts at once but when someone says my yard looks like shit theyre Suddenl;y powerless...

that picture of all the construction workers sitting on a steel beam eating lunch except its me & the boys sitting on the floor at game stop

fred flintstone does not Jack off ever, he works hard every day to provide for his family, fuck you for saying something like that

thanks all. together weve raised over $63 for raytheon to develop a brand new ITAS that can shoot down enemy prayers before they reach God .

me and the wife are discussing having me cryogenically frozen like autsin powers for a while, to close up our inappropriate 6 year age gap

the worst part of nationalism is having to pretend the flag is really good, like "yeah the country looks exactly like that. they nailed it"

ive decided that the idea of "Baths" sucks. yeah i really want to spend an hour laying down next to my toilet. stupid ass. Suck off me

im not wishning you freaks a happy new year. you will all fuck up my 2019, like you have with all the other years. youre dopes

its actually beautiful how half the posters here think its open mic night and the other half think theyre at some sort of permanent funeral

yes i am a "HO"

Honorable
online

ive done the research, ive looked at the facts, ive analyzed the hard data and my conclusion is that youre way more mad than i am right now,

while every one was busy talking star wars this and star wars that, i have been mastering the Hands-Free orgasm .

the gaming challenge: load up your video game of choice and play it until you reach the credits sequence. the gaming challenge

when harry potter said"i solemnly swear to blow up this monsters penis w/ a fire ball" i had to put the book down & bow my head for a moment

"To my unfollowers, I will strive to reexamine my content strategies, and do my best to earn back your follow."
NOt. Eat my Fuckin shit

Shut the fuck up . Christ

repeating to my self in the mirror "Star wars is for adults" before seeing the final one & having a violent reaction like ingesting a poison

i think it would be fucking stupid to be a fat ass caterpillar and have your entire body be made out of weak points

nice sydney opera house you got here. would be a shame it if were to become the the sydney Gamer house...

blocking every twitter blue subscriber has never been more good. they hate bieng blocked so much

"multi verse" fuck your self. you`re only allowed to have one universe per costumed dipshit. absolutely none of this is my problem

coke zero but for pringles. pringles zero

"if theres a spicy brown mustard, why not a spicy brown ketchup?"
The wise man smiled.
"my friend, the condiment you seek is Barbecue Sauce"

theres a 1000 dollars in front of you. youre free to take it but if you do every dead bug on earth comes back to life. Do you take it Yes No

THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
ME: I agree

ive generated over 100,000 wordles in my head and completed them easily. what more can i say of it

remove all of the bathrooms from churchs right now. you need to be doing that at home

lord help me im aobut to ratio this bitch

Boys are showing to much DICK on the time line... I come here to research Ethics and i am bombareded with 10000 human penis images daily

"elmer fudd"is what happens when a mother fucker get's zero pussy in his whole damn life. drop a like on this

the new view count is so nice that i officially forgive this web site for giving us 0% of the ad revenue it generates off of our slave labor

my name is

" GAMER FUCKER "

and i was sent to FUCK all the gamers...

the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

if you get popular on you tube you make $100000 a month. if you get popular on twitter you get your shit caved in by robbers every day

https://linktr.ee/drilreal dont you dare click on this illegal list of web sites that are better than twitter

if the mask from "the mask" was real it would be on the news.

Not. All. Of. The. Wet. Spots. On. My. Jeans. Are. Piss. Stians.

ive modified my phone to deliver electric shocks each time one of you unfollows me. The pain will make me kinder, humbler, and more powerful

alan dershowitz once tried to defend me in court by pulling out a pocket pussy and insisting he would never fuck it. we lost the case

we'd pour hot wax into the assholes of new marines yelling "Welcome to the CORPS!" cant do that anymore. this nation used to build railroads

TODAY:
- pissed some body off
- got my ass kicked
- Pissed myself
- got piss kicked into my ass
- ANd its only 2:01 AM.

add Beer to mario @nintendo @nintendo @nintendo @nintendo @nintendo @nintendo @nintendo @nintendo @nintendov @nintendo @nintendo @nintendo

Ah, Reddit ftw., Truly phenomenal, big fan of the memes, links, etc. Always been saying this. So whcih stock is making us rich today fellas

thinking about a "Cock Ring" for the neck that strangles all the blood into your brain and gives you what is essentially a mental erection

The holidays are a difficult time for many people. Please call everyone you know and tell them their dick is normal looking

guy who invented Prayer: This is so sick. Im going to get so much free shit from god. This is the cleanest scam yet. So glad I invented this

tj maxx stands for trader joes maxx.. But yotre not allowed to say that anymore!!! Oh!!!

think i might quit my job and invent the Original chicken sandwich

but who will advocate the Non-essential oils?? the oils my body could not give a shit about either way

look at all these pitiful toads shamelessly seeking validation, unlike me, seeking validation in a cool, disaffected sort of way

the next masked singer should be a dead guy

all im saying it that this guy wore the mask before covid

inventing a new type of cum by jacking off incorrectly

david kock death hitting especially hard because of baby bird brain derangement that makes me think every rich person i see on tv is my Mom

wouldve loved to make $10000000 but honestly seemed rude to fuck over hedgefunds since theyre the people who make like, our shirts, and food

writing in "god Trumps racism" and walking out of the voting booth high-fiving the Good Cops with a visible load stain on my croch

In reply to slave to Woke

i am no longer the slave to Woke! I Hate woke now! Woke is stupid! Help!

I Am Your Slave Madam President! I'll Always Protect You!

neo pets cinematic universe

you need to realize that when you make a joke about the queen dying it is the british version of 9/11. You are spitting in the face of 9 /11

sad that the guy who raised $10000000 to produce the worlds first non-woke can opener tried escaping in a hot air balloon & hit a power line

its time to destigmatize the Balls... and restigmatize the Ass

might get really into chewing tobacco for some reason. might start calling it "Tobaccy" . Fuck you

saying "WOW" out loud watching youtube guy's username spin around in 3d in the 20 second intro to his video, going Psycho watching this shit

harvey weinsein in court w/ oversized diaper & fake arrow through his head: oohhh me so sorry ohhh
JUDGE: I will always protect you sir ,

restaurants should bring back smoking sections but for jacking off, and if you don't like that idea yiou can just sit in the normal sections

using street view; trapped in man's sandwich

everyone please stop laughing immediately & explain the joke to me very carefully like i'm 2 years old so I can tell you if i like it or not

if i ever catch you "Dabbing" , I will never hire you to work at my FORTUNE 500 Logistic's firm. You a re simply a liability I cannot afford

i think every one with depression, anxieety, stomachaches, etc, should get a gold coin that lets them legally park in front of fire hydrants

waking up in the middle of the night, gripped by blood curdling terror, yelling, sobbing, punching my pillows, because i forgot 9/11

(sobbing like a fucking doofus) why isnt my feed good!! why dont these posts make me happy any more!! what is wrong with all of you!!!!!!!

did they find any water on mars yet. what about catboys

your post sucked so much shit so bad it just turned me from ESFP to INTJ in 2 seconds flat. your spinning my bitch wheel 99mph

Going Very fucking hard on donald duck today. Saying i would never want to be him, or be any part of his life.

i know a lot of women . and none of them would ever sleep with this clown Austin powers

theres one teen that wont be invited to the teen choice awards this year. covid 19 #CanHeSayThat

"breaking in" my new pair of jeans by tossing it onto the freeway and letting cars run over it while i observe it through a scope

and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad.