dril archive

its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town

Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Candles $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

no

so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

i truly believe that i will usher in a new era of peace and prosperity when i get every single post on hthis fucking website deleted by 2022

blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin

did they find any water on mars yet. what about catboys

my friend the only crypto currency you wanna get your hands on is this: bird seed. There is a lot of birds and they all gotta eat

getting brain damage from pissing my self off

go ahead. keep screaming "Shut The Fuck Up " at me. it only makes my opinions Worse

big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

its the weekend baby. youknow what that means. its time to drink precisely one beer and call 911

age 0 (baby): I want my Dada .
age 25 (Millennial): I want my Data
Do you see how fucked this is?

it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that the celebs are at it again

the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron"

ME: please show me the posts in the order that they were made
COMPUTER: thats too hard. heres some tweets i think are good. Do you like this

who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

"im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob

"horny" has killed more people than all the volcanos on earth combined

THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
ME: I agree

everyone less mentally ill than me is Privileged, everyone more mentally ill than me is Toxic, everyone equally mentally ill to me is Cool

if you ask me many of Americans have been wearing the mask even before from covid 19. the mask i refer to is of course the clown's mask.

absolutely block on sight

the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

in a world where big data threatens to commodify our lives,. telling online surveys that i "Dont know" what pringles are constitutes Heroism

DUMBASS: SHut the fuck up
THE WISE MAN: No you shut the fuck up

In reply to slave to Woke

the only nfts i deal in are nerds in the Fucking trashcan. suck my Dick

theres never been a horny me,
and never shall i horny be,
And If this sacred vow shall break,
I pray the lord my posts to take

"if theres a spicy brown mustard, why not a spicy brown ketchup?"
The wise man smiled.
"my friend, the condiment you seek is Barbecue Sauce"

issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the terror group ISIL. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"

*circles "become gay" on a whiteboard*

here's a list of touhou girls i want to have as a Mom someday & here is a copy of that list in case you accidentally throw it in the gabarge

Bad news folks! i waited in line for 16 hours to see the queen. But by the time i got there she was fuckin DEAD!!!!!!

user named " beavis_sinatra " has been terrorizing me since 2004, by sending me pictures of cups that are too close to the edge of the table

revealing the gender of my baby by eating a whole bunch of food dye and taking a huge pink shit in front of my relatives. ah!! its a girl !!

( me after seeing two guys in any context whatsoever) Well well well if it isnt the Blowjob Brothers

Politic's is back baby. It's good again. Awoouu (wolf Howl)

the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit

"Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

going t o start saying, "Wife City" whenever i see an attractive woman. e.g... "thats Wife City" or "that girl is Wife City to me"

strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian .

i regret to inform you, that by resorting to Swear language, you have forfeit this debate. Farewell my bitch

fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

im afraid i must say that i do not find the mysteries featured on "scooby-doo" challenging enough .

HELP ELON!!ELON!! HELP! HELP! POST "DOG COIN"

my favorite feature of this site is absolutely no consequences for my opinions sucking ffucking ass and me being 100% wrong about everything

genderless milf`s

If your grave doesn't say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war . Like and retweet

In reply to slave to Woke

you can disaggrree with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislane Maxwells politics while still hanging out with them in photographs. Its totally fine

In reply to craig

@craigus12 no

i deserve th e most mentally ill president imaginable. 99 year old babbling doofus. Send us into the volcano sir

i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not,

VERIFY!! VERIFIY THIS ACCOUNT! THE TROLLS ARE BREAKING IN THROUGH THE WINDOWS!! I NEED THE CHECK MARK !! NOW!! NOW!! NOW!!

its ok he fired the people in charge of telling him its illegal

I plead epic trolling, your honor

just found out about Object Permanence... why didnt any one tell me about this shit

the entire time youre watching the movie 101 Dalmatians, youre just thinking, This is so many more dalmations than usual. It is just fucked

in real life yoda would get eaten by a dog

see this watch? i got it by Crying. my car? crying. my beautiful wife? Crying. My perfect teeth? Crying. now get the fuck out of my office

"your posts suck ass now " my posts have always sucked Ass . You are just mad at me for some reason

Buffalo wild wing gets $0 tip for serving "Bones" to me in chicken, if i had wanted to eat bones i would take my Ass to the grave yard

turning a big dial taht says "Racism" on it and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right

mean while, while you were "Gaming ", i tasted 100 different wines in a cave behind a waterfall and cried into a shaman's arms

hear this trolls: ive been secretly respecting the flag in the privacy of my garage for 12 hrs a day , maxing out its power to insane levels

the coolest thing the police ever did was invent their own flag thats just a desecrated version of the american flag

JACKING OFF and committing FRAUD

every generation deserves at least 5 movies named "Spider Man 2"

ive never heard of this "europe" but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me

oh, youvve read a few academic papers on the matter? cute. i have read over 100000 posts.

just got word from a trusted source: the guy who said he would fuck his daughter on "The View" is in hot water for spelling hamburger wrong

i just need to say, to anyone reading this.. You are Important, You are loved, and You belong in this world, if you have over 5000 followers

#RespectThePolice alright done. what should I respect next. bugs? urine? im taking requests

look, im not saying that martin luther king jr was a gamer. that would be ludicrous. im simply saying that if games had existed at the time,

if you see a man in a fawkes mask walking down the highway with a sign that says "Gamestop: Power to the Players" that's me and i need water

if you "clap back" someone with a PhD on here, you should be allowed to have their PhD. Its just common sense people. Oh that's tea

Thinking about getting very pissed off on the computer today .

trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...

before you shit on me, lnow this. i have a black belt in shut the fuck up. and - let me finish - i have a college degree in shut the fuck up

beanie babies are just bit coins in real life

inventing new character "George X. Bush" the most fucked george bush yet

another blissfful day ignoring the fact that 75% of my peers on this site have been rejected from offline society for pretty good reasons

200k/yr media job where we all wear sweater vests, kiss each other & try to convince people biden is technically a "Molester" not a "Rapist"

they are inventing a new type of Lesbian in 2023 they just said it on CNN

i lvoe and cherish all of the girls of this site, and other websites. you all become my wife more and more with each passing day. Thank you

i really dont care what Yankee Doodle did when he went to town. His toxic fanbase tells me everything I need to know about him .

neo pets cinematic universe

you know what wo uld be fun, would be if twitter hq just dumped a truck full of wet turds on my front lawn every day "In case I missed it"

did it hurt when you fell from heaven and kissed my stupid ass you mother fucker

"jail isnt real," i assure myself as i close my eyes and ram the hallmark gift shop with my shitty bronco

girls always love to telling people not to" Mansplain"
but they do not care of, "Man's Pain"

look at all these pitiful toads shamelessly seeking validation, unlike me, seeking validation in a cool, disaffected sort of way

peoplr would rather see macDonald's, than macbeth. and that's why all of this is going on

my disrespectful teen son somehow got hold of a gluten product and now he wants to become a cat girl

Im thinking 2k20 is the year of "Shut the fuck up" . All repliers blocked. Absolute God mode

please do not say "top notch" to me unless you want to spend hrs explaining what the fuck these notches are & who determines their hierarchy

using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,

im not wishning you freaks a happy new year. you will all fuck up my 2019, like you have with all the other years. youre dopes

i consider protected, locked accounts, to be the most Powerful accounts... for it is they who have Blocked the entire world

i hate i t when girls think im proposing whenever i take the knee at them in protest

Clean Ass , Clean Mind

folks if you think haunted house is scary this halloween i invite you to look at the damn economy and thj dow jones

if you put one of those 280 character junkheaps on my feed ill flip a coin to decide if i should block you. i will let God choose your fate.

INSPIRING: After 20 Years-- Local Waitress Reunited With "78 I.Q." Police Officer Who Used Her As A Human Shield At The Age Of 11

looking at the data and simply laughing

how dare you fuck with me. how dare you fuck with me , on the year of Luigi

1st grade: Mastered.
2nd Grade: MAstered.
3rd Grade: Mastered.
4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you
5th Grade:This ones hard

yes i am a "HO"

Honorable
online

a man asks God, how am i supposed to live, without George H.W. Bush
God simply said "That is why I made 2 george bushs"
The man just smiled.

Can we stop the posts please guys. Can we all cool it with the gags, riffs, spoofs, and epic shit. People are trying to do mental health

"multi verse" fuck your self. you`re only allowed to have one universe per costumed dipshit. absolutely none of this is my problem

and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad.

ive done the research, ive looked at the facts, ive analyzed the hard data and my conclusion is that youre way more mad than i am right now,

i despise the toilet. id love nothing more than to kick it through the wall and shatter it into 100 shards of wet porcelain. But i need it

bashing my skull against the steering wheel while screaming in my car for an hour; then coming on here pretending to be a Mental Health Guru

listeing to the updated version of the "baby its cold outside" song where the guy's trying to convince the woman to leave so he can jack off

CHIEF: dracula is in our sights. Take the shot!
SNIPER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke!
ME (watching through binoculars): He's woke! He wont do it!

oh you dont like my AI generated crap? ill just AI generate some people who do. then ill AI generate $1000000 and a wife who likes my posts

love when i lose aobut 100 followers immediately after making a beautiful post. the weak shriveling up into dust. Thats called darwin

oi guv the old bird pissed it. I will miss her . Fuck

donlad trump reportedly says that normal type pokemon are a waste of time. they're just dirty birds & rats who have no right being a pokemon

you say you smoke two packs a day? two packs of what, pal? shit?

I WANT " 1 2 3 "
1. MY DICK SUCKED
2. MY POSTS LIKED
3. MY ASS KICKED

*sees the e3 logo on a website, tthrows head back and screams the word "Epic" before immediately defaulting to aberrant emotionless state*

i shou;ld be allowed on the roof of any building

Its impossible for me to respect someone who is wearing an arm cast. UYou look like a mummy from egypt. Remove it

your meltdown is worse than my melt down. you're spiraling harder than me bitch. im barely even showing my ass compared to you

if you turn the patterns on their shirts 90 degrees... the trusted REFEREE becomes the despicable PRISONER.... truly life is a fragile Bitch

ants

ELON HELP !!!! MY TESLA KILLED A KID

guys who get off on being humiliated used to expose themselves at the grocery store or something. now they pretend to be journalists on here

i love saiyng shit like "Yow! This kittens got Claws!" whenever a woman stabs me 38 times in the neck and chest

i pray my IQ forever remains in the "Sweet Spot" wherein its high enough to call out the BS but too low to recognize the Futility of Posting

reminder to the girls of this page that I will soon have $ 1400

cant wait for this Cunt to take us to mars; no Sjw, no Girls, just us boys sitting around in 55.9m sq miles of waste land, swapping MEMES !!

reminder that if you jerk off tomorrow on christmas y ou are the bastard of earth.

my tweets bring people together, and unite this country even more than 9/11 did. every time i post its like 9/11 happening again

these people with locked accounts...damn!!! you just know theyre hiding all the good posts in there

the gaming challenge: load up your video game of choice and play it until you reach the credits sequence. the gaming challenge

i want to beat the shit out of a ufo

dont worry i reviewed my profile myself and its still really good. please let me change my name back to normal now

Im the guy who asked them to remove Sex from only fans!!! I thought It would be nice!!! I didnt know it woiuld make people mad!!! Im sorry!!

*sees Tarantino get misquoted* You Bitch Mother Fucker *sees war supported on flimsy pretenses* Wlel, that's his beliefs and I respect that

now that i have the baneful blue mark, I undertand the pain ive wrought. i was wrong to torment dog coin guys. im jealous of their million's

thinking of inventing a new type of person to get mad at on here. maybe people who carry too many keys around.. i dont know yet

stainless steel? my ass. ill stain that mother fucker good

seems to me, life is aoubt "STICKS"
Age: 1-20 : Selfie Stick
Age 21-90: Walking stick

hello. what is your online user handle please? ok. ok thanks. blocked

the worst part of nationalism is having to pretend the flag is really good, like "yeah the country looks exactly like that. they nailed it"

me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the keyboard and step back
9 year old child: Fuck oyu

getting pissed off at the idea of someone going on to wiki pedia and changing the name of the japanese suicide forest to "Warios Woods"

As rioters descended upon the white house, he silently sat in the dark with a revolver & a glass of whiskey. His mouth stuffed with SlimJims

wife is no longer permitting me to jack off in the car during her book club meetings. where am i supposed to jack off then? fucking EGYPT???

w'ere leaving it in 2019...

if you ask me this election could end about 100 different ways:
1) trump gets 0% of the vote
2) trump gets 1% of the vote
3) trump gets 2% o

scrolling on autopilot, mouth agape, clicking fav on all tweets with at least 1 or 2 funny words in them. zero human consciousness, perfect,

thank you . this will make it way easier to block them all

WOah. Just had another Dr. Oz dream. This time he was crying

i think if dogs could talk they would have the most racist opinions in the world, stuff that just blows normal human racism out of the water

shut the fuck up and kick my ass

[man leans into doorway of WTC bathroom]
"Hey, you gotta finish up in there. 9/11 is happening."
"Alright. Just a sec."

my main issue with "master chief fucks cortana" is if you read the halo novels youd know the space suit automatically jacks master chief off

i just sucked my own dick and got poisoned. no podcast tonight

"don't tread of me", the famous words of that good snake who doesn't want to get stepped on, the noble slithering bastard I relate to most

due to budget constraints the ground hog this year has been replaced by a caged man in a loincloth who also fears shadows

i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like "oh tortures bad","its ineffective" fuck off

(saying to group. of 7 girls) the lore surrounding the Addams family is actually quite a bit darker than you might think..and fairly Leftist

When you "FAve" me, you are effectively throwing a " Treat " into my mouth

arms folded, back turned to the television, refusing to "Meet the flintstones" despite the theme song's pleas

theres a popular nursery rhyme in which the singer claims to be a teapot. this, for many children, is their first experience with "Trolling"

twitter .com, the only mainstream website that manages to crash my browser, has pledged to make its users suffer "Like never before" in 2020

stay at home rat

The Fact Remains That Your A Guy From Reddit, And Im A Guy Who Posts On A Website Thats Somewhat More Prestigious Than Reddit

your;e damn right im calm. you bet your ass im acting like a normal person

the list of white boy's with fat Dicks just dropped

saying "Looks like I struck a nerve ." in the gorup dm after posting "Pringles is white people doritos" and locking my account

In reply to slave to Woke

building a pressurized 3000 mile long tube across the desert instead of a normal train is actually a really good idea. Always has been

if somone cooks your goose, thats it. youre basically fucked

wiping your ass is now officially Politics

ive flattened the curve over 100 times. what have you pricks been doing

wife is sad because we had to remove all doorknobs from our dreamhome since they were at the exact perfect hieght to go up my ass by mistake

what combo of substances can i take to give myself PTSD during Avatar premier(IMAX). i wanna come out of there screaming like a vietnam vet

going ape shit at the gym. rotating in full 360 degrees with the boys, flawlessly synchronized

bad news: were all helpless cogs doomed to ceaselessly perpetuate a machine
good news: the machine is a Sega and were all sonic the hegehog

absolute bastard . of all the fingers you couldve given me, it had to be the middle one

i just got logged on to the site and im going to need you all to shut the fuck up for like an hour while i get caught up on my feed here

your about to find out why'd they'd call me "The Bitch"

scientology brain. paint huffing used car dealer brain. pillhead grandma brain. shit stained herman miller brain #BlockTheBlueChecks

coke zero but for pringles. pringles zero

there`s no job harder than that of the Media Personality. there are so many massive pedophiles who you have to not accidentally say are good

Id like to sincerely apologize for being a beady eyed little fuck-freak. Im hell's shit. Im dog shit's ass. Brand me with a hot iron. Sorry

leave your DRAMA at the door, or i will SHIT myself !!!!

mods!! mods! one of those obscene low follower count boys stole a lick from the delicious lolly that Father bought me!! ah! how dreadful !

(accidentaly fires entire ar15 magazine into my foot & leg with 100% accuracy rate) alright. thats fine. heres what i think happened, [1/82]

im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.

Having a bad one; First my Lockheed Martin investment tanks after the ceo posts his penis. Now Cold stone Creamery just called me the N-Word

imagnie a world where us Common folk are given the blue checkmark and the CELEBs are left out to dry!! Hows that feel, HUh?! Answer me punks

i will annihilate all spoofs of me . i will take anyone who does spoofs of me or my beloved content to the court of criminal law.

im the guy at mcdonalds who decides which states the offers are not valid in, an d i get more death threats than god

but who will advocate the Non-essential oils?? the oils my body could not give a shit about either way

my name is

" GAMER FUCKER "

and i was sent to FUCK all the gamers...

to the pyramid on the $1 bill calling itself the "all seeing eye" Fuck you. the only thing you can see from my wallet is the jeans of my ass

ME: there is a new type of beer called "Wine"
shirtless guy witht 104 followers: Shut the fuck up
ME: Yes sir

(dismissing waitress handing me the check with a hand wave) no thank you. i dont believe in any of that

miss when the favs were star shaped, instead of heart shaped. the hearts aare just another filthy product of the horny industrial complex

only gamers know whats this is

the numa numa man just bougt a $70million house and im here at the library trying to photocopy a fruit roll up

the year is 2043, men have gotten too much therapy and are now Masters of Deceit, using their supernatural mental health to get insane head

AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP

"booty" is code word for "ass" . this is known

children should learn Gambling basically asap aand fix the economy by winning big

TODAY:
- pissed some body off
- got my ass kicked
- Pissed myself
- got piss kicked into my ass
- ANd its only 2:01 AM.

THE COP GROWLS "TAKE OFF TH OSE JEANS, CITIZEN." I COMPLY, REVEALING THE FULL LENGTH DENIM TATTOOS ON BOTH LEGS. THE COP SCREAMS; DEFEATED

The holidays are a difficult time for many people. Please call everyone you know and tell them their dick is normal looking

not sure what the fuck you think a "home" is but in my house i read things in chronological order & dont have random schmucks talking to me

urine is not sterile. it has piss in it

The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

donald trump has no time to fuck. he looks at his watch and says "i could not possibly fuck at this juncture." as he powerwalks into the zoo

pleased to announce that i will shatter all barriers in 2017 by becoming the first adult gerber baby

(playing russian roullette and its my turn)
hasta the vista mother fucker
(shoots the other guy

if a sniper shot me i owuld run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in melee fight

I am their Father. I would burn my penis off with a lighter to make them even 1% happier. Onl y a Parent understand… https://t.co/RKZ4pKYRF7

https://linktr.ee/drilreal dont you dare click on this illegal list of web sites that are better than twitter

thte international space station is visible from earth at the following times: Nerd Time

nerd with lame attitude: North Korea is bad
Me: Have you ever lived there.
nerd: (his glasses fall off)
Me: Catch you later

your mission is to get laid on gmail. delete all other apps, do not talk to me until you fuck. your mission is to fuck and suck on gmail

"To my unfollowers, I will strive to reexamine my content strategies, and do my best to earn back your follow."
NOt. Eat my Fuckin shit

being a dumb ass is bad enough, but being a dumb ass, in 2020??? You fucked up big time

the only time isaid the "N word" i said it with perfect frequency/timing to intercept & cancel out the sound waves of another guy saying it,

hardcore becoming that guy who thinks the covid virus will be "not good," overall, but on the bright side it might inexplicably end racism

i love spending 10000 dollars to make my car loud as shit and suck ass

its actually beautiful how half the posters here think its open mic night and the other half think theyre at some sort of permanent funeral

nice sydney opera house you got here. would be a shame it if were to become the the sydney Gamer house...

im the only guy who knows how to call out the bull shit of society the smart way. and against all odds i do it for free

having to spell the word "lunch" instead of saying it so the boys don't get too excited

friendly reminder to all of my followers not to commit any Crimes in 2018. crimes are 2017 shit "Miss Me With That"

thanks all. together weve raised over $63 for raytheon to develop a brand new ITAS that can shoot down enemy prayers before they reach God .

people who jack off in the bedroom: spiritual, harmonious, Attuned
people who jack off in the bathroom: intellectual, mechanical, productive

"STOP BEING Tsundere" - me screaming at god

taking my "Gamer medicine" (Games)

(sobbing like a fucking doofus) why isnt my feed good!! why dont these posts make me happy any more!! what is wrong with all of you!!!!!!!

I;ve looked at the facts. Hell im looking at the facts right now.

wife wants to get the word "winefreak" tattooed, in the disney font. i told her she cannot join me in the kingdom of heaven if she does this

repeating to my self in the mirror "Star wars is for adults" before seeing the final one & having a violent reaction like ingesting a poison

two bearded 55 yr old intellectuals, sitting opposite of each other in two stately leather seats. musing upon the concept of a "Paper mario"