dril archive

me and the boys charging through the streets carrying a massive battering ram headed for Mens big in tall store

putting twitter's famous Quality Filter on my shit until my entire feed is just lockheed martin saying "We are smarter than covid"

fuck restaurants making quesadillas like 1 inch thick, stuffed with crap falling all over the plate. whatre you trying to do, suck my Dick??

half the posts these guys are making could perhaps be found in "Barney magazine" , or "Shit for babys magazine"

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell @tom_on_here

In reply to Someone Else Is RTing Stuff DONT UNFOLLOW

@tom_on_here Stop looking at my posts

Enjoying my life

In reply to Someone Else Is RTing Stuff DONT UNFOLLOW

@tom_on_here Stop looking at my posts

fuck your self. stop looking at my posts. taste a son of a bitchs ass.

diaper in place

In reply to @antonsuga

@antonsuga Umauwhh

@Dwayne_Media @eedrk @willmenaker @kath_krueger

@Dwayne_Media @eedrk @willmenaker @kath_krueger past your bed time? Lol. stay in youe lane kid

every generation deserves at least 5 movies named "Spider Man 2"

WHOSE COCK DO I HAVE TO SUCK TO GET SOME DORSEY-CERTIFIED BLUE CHECK MARKS AROUND HERE . WHOSE UGLY WIFE DO I HAVE TO FUCK

In reply to @currentvictim

@currentvictim @Iittlejoy he is lying. the reason he will never become twitch partner is because he runs his mouth nasty on there

sequestered shelter in place in the vip room of fatburger with 12 "lady's of the evening" geiting my entire shit honked like a old car horn

i would not enjoy a second of it, but if a man achieved the fully-optimized load i would feel obligated to allow him to Bust it into my eyes

slave to Woke retweeted

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

Recall Rameses, OF EGYPT Repent of your sins.

99% of people do not even know heir CREATOR?

PEOPLE HAVE FORSAKEN THEIR CREATOR, YHVH (YAHUAH) IN FAVOR OF PAGAN GODS, IDOLS, GRAVEN IMAGES, ETC. https://twitter.com/KelleyBlueBook/status/1243205911684034561

slave to Woke retweeted

@Arbys why is your company not replacing their torn and whittled American flag out front of your establishment?

In reply to Katherine Krueger

@kath_krueger im not doing it for the fame or the glory... im doing it for (checking image really quick) "restaurant workers community foundation"

me and the most profound influencers of our time will soon "Bring back the chuck norris shit" in a display of raw contempt for our followers

all men between ages 46-62 run a newsgroup named "Bimbofied By Wife" that has pics of them handcuffed with bras stuffed down their throaot

slave to Woke retweeted

can't sleep..watching Joy Behar.

slave to Woke retweeted

Helping the Police with their convictions, helping the innocent remain at large, punish the guilty through science, deduction and skill.

slave to Woke retweeted

@J0HNNYDepp Keep doing what your doing, keep being who your being.

LOOKS TO ME LIKE nobody cares what a crumpled up shit head like me has to say. this garbled crap eater... this Cocksuckered old dog......

In reply to @antonsuga

@antonsuga your names not really "anton suga"

just heard it on the news that theyre gonna start using Crisper to breed dogs that look 100% like beautiful human women

lots of movies like to add jokes in there, as a bit of an easter egg

looking at the list of accounts I voluntarily follow and wishing this shit was more Tailored To My Interests

duhhh ok yes sir thank you sir

the bright side to all this, is that everyone's now forced to stay home and read my posts contemplating if america is "Ready to Laugh again"

and now im being unfollow brigaded by traitors who would gladly simply put my ass in the viper pit

Lord give me Coffee do change the things i have the power to change and Wine to except the things i want to

i remember shit from when back when people gave a Damn...... now the whoule damn world`s a penis

president reportedly found Spoofed on the bathroom floor, it is said that he had been repeatedly Lampooned during an hour long struggle,

slave to Woke retweeted

Triumph Motercycle.

please remember "RAT"
- Repsect Above Trolling

slave to Woke retweeted

" The Get Rich and Become God Method "

available NOW in PDF or EPUB... 350+ Full Color Pages of New Shit. by me

only $8.99, due to covid. What a steal . Go nuts
http://gum.co/richgod

In reply to jace.

@jmagav id like to get that out there eventually but it's probably not gonna happen for a while

In reply to derek

@eedrk i only look at comment count .

In reply to slave to Woke

http://gum.co/drilbook />
the old book's also 50% off on there, only $4... give it a Look

In reply to slave to Woke

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/fuc6ql/i_am_dril_ceo_of_the_dril_account_on_twittercom/? I'm now taking questions on reddit please.

" The Get Rich and Become God Method "

available NOW in PDF or EPUB... 350+ Full Color Pages of New Shit. by me

only $8.99, due to covid. What a steal . Go nuts
http://gum.co/richgod

the way im talked to on here its a wonder i haven't shit my own ass ....

In reply to @antonsuga

@antonsuga @w0a0i0f maybestop freaking out at me for 2 seconds and i will .

In reply to Just kidding

@w0a0i0f calm down please .

sorrry i wasnt listening i was busy predicting your laughable response to my post perfectly

In reply to Ryan Pequin

@ryanpequin @antonsuga im glad they did it

In reply to @antonsuga

@antonsuga

In reply to @antonsuga

@antonsuga yes

In reply to TruthPoint: Darkweb Rising

@TruthPointDWR Me too

bringing the doctors note to game stop saying im allowed to buy as many games as i want and touch myown face if i want to

no one is safe from my posts no maytter how many stupid fucking buttons you click on

when someone i never met on here has me blocked i assume its because theyre a pedophile and theyre afraid im going to take them to prison

dunston Fucks in

PISS 3 TIMES A DAY. THATS IT

feel as though the POST-COVID economy will mostly benefit me, the guy who makes tiny custom diapers for peoples beanie babies and funko pops

social distancing? I've been social distancing my whole life Lol . no ventilators? Ive been breathing without a ventilator my whole life Lol

wearing my most Insolent pair of bluejeans to father`s court hearing

to the 1.8 million americans who died so i could get insane amounts of nintendo switch friend codes from girls by moaning online: Thank you

In reply to virgin

@wwwdotyoutube teen

asking the baja fresh cashier to detain the teenagers in the parking lot who told me i loooked like "Frosty the snowmans uncle"

heaping helpings of gamer Gratitude going out to the boys who mailed my streamwife a glorious synthetic Hymen via Twitch Prime Pro

In reply to Leah Tiscione

@LeahTiscione not mine #NoPIss

ive flattened the curve over 100 times. what have you pricks been doing

slave to Woke retweeted

Stay on the grind...

slave to Woke retweeted

It’s always game time...

slave to Woke retweeted

Stay grinding...

wolf blitzer putting on his best handsome guy voice spending hours in front of the mirror practicing saying "this just in money is worth $0"

Ha ha ha... The numbers beneath all the posts are so stupid, dont mean anything, full of crappe. yes, go ahead, boo me at my own ted talk ,

"i could teach a dog how to use a $10 bill in two seconds flat. the zoo should invent money that they let the animals use" - alan Greenspan

"looking for my lost shaker of Shit" only a bastard would change the lyric to this , disrespectful to mr buffet & all contemporary americana

oarnge bean

In reply to steve (rocks the block)

@CheeseTorrini @eedrk @necrobranson that was julian assange's piss. not mine

Delighted to announce that the mental illness from being quarantined has caused me to develop an altaer-ego named "Mr. Simplepleasures"

after editing wikipedia as a joke for 16 years, i ve convinced myself that homer simpson's japanese name translates to the "The beer goblin"

hardcore becoming that guy who thinks the covid virus will be "not good," overall, but on the bright side it might inexplicably end racism

(straining relaly hard until something inside of my head pops) There . I just gave myself depression cause none of you are clicking my Links

peoplr would rather see macDonald's, than macbeth. and that's why all of this is going on

GOD is an endangered specie's

now's the perfect time to catch up on my Smoking by smoking every cigarette and cigar in the house

#SendASmile to the stock marcket dow jones today . lets show Corona whos boss

In reply to @antonsuga

@antonsuga youvr gotta eat

this shit sucks so much shit, this is Hell,

The instant I heard the song yankee doodle aas a child I threw my headphones off and said that the shit is over rated and I was right

if YANKEE DOODLE (1782) was in Present day, he would have a Sound Cloud, and Further more, he would say shit like "Listen to my sound cloud"

(man with 120 IQ in the 1700s [80 in present day IQ] listening to Yankee Doodle for the first time) Oh this is devilishly Fucked

that place you bought a mattress from 4 yrs ago, reminding you Via email, that now is the perfect time to practice your Calmness Strategies

taking hthe Touch Your Own Eye Balls challenge, at the zoo, despite recent developments

In reply to kcg

@kcgreenn it;s bad

book completed and coming soon,.. once i figure out how im gonna publish it ill have a release date for you all. Thank you . https://www.instagram.com/p/B9rwG8hFjdE/?igshid=33vfh7kmmcxh

top 10 whack-offs , Ass-Outs, dick shows, and crank-me-offs. only on youtube .com - americas funniest home fuck ups

In reply to .

@erklddm ill never show it

god i `d love to host SNL . imagining hordes of Trolls trying to stop me, getting mowed down by an apache helicopter outside of studio 8H,

yes my lord

be your own slave. be your own Unemployed. boss of ceo. boss at disabled

there is a metric by which i evaluate the level of Sexual content that exists in posts. i call it the Porno factor .

twitter 2050 is an enhanced reality experience where you can step into a virtual sweatshop and lecture the workers about their Table Manners

In reply to @antonsuga

@berniesander666 we'll see who's me soon enough

i deserve th e most mentally ill president imaginable. 99 year old babbling doofus. Send us into the volcano sir

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell looks fine to me s.t.f.u.

scrolling on autopilot, mouth agape, clicking fav on all tweets with at least 1 or 2 funny words in them. zero human consciousness, perfect,

Peoeple across the country are sick of putting food on the table. I will stop and frisk the lies #MemeContent #Joke

the majority of my critics think its hould be illegal for me. or anyone else, to have a job. Do not fall into their pranks.

-i have at least 5 mental illnesses directly caused by having my posts replied to by shit heads
- im your man for #mike 2020. Pay me sir

just to get some perspective on life

In reply to Just kidding

@w0a0i0f than kyou for engaging

the face i make WHen

dont like my posts then go watch some Prestige television about it. put on some hbo go Fuck face

"kendo is so much better than normal swords" nope fuck yourself

sorry i cant relate to any of the shit you people are saying. however that absolutely does not mean you should stop keeping the Likes coming

" can fly the boeing 737 max perfectly "

reminder to tell everyone who follows you that theyre a good person. Please. I can soft block every single one of you. I have all day

if a 4 year old child treid to accidentally shoot me i would simply disarm it by using a Complete arm latch into tactical 100% body roll

the news is my Life and my world. thank you sir @walter cronkite

my only regret is that i have but one Grid to Go off of

I think if i put my mind to it, I could put a tree in my house like they do at the Cherry hill mall

warning issued to microsoft who is hard at work making the new "Windows": The world is watching you my friends

they are going to start calling the damn gas prices "Gasp prices" because thats what i do when i see then

slave to Woke retweeted

The world is corrupt our country is corrupt politicians are corrupt our system is corrupt so obviously so is Baseball...no sport is perfect move on...humans and money equal corruption.

@Dwayne_Media get a grip

theres lots of normal people on the little black list of pedophiles too. i think its fine to say u want your dick sucked by a computer #spon

In reply to derek

@eedrk @sexualjumanji @SarahSquirm this is spam messages. unsubscribe me

You should have to have Four years experience as a Chef before you are allowed to become a Waiter. The crap has become ridiculous

As Sure As I Have An IQ of " 65 "
I Will Never Not Address A Presidential Candidate As " SIR "
NO MATTER THE POLITICS OF IT !!

while my trolls are busy "moving the goal posts" im afraid i am simply moving the "good posts"

your post sucked so much shit so bad it just turned me from ESFP to INTJ in 2 seconds flat. your spinning my bitch wheel 99mph

tu quoque.. i invented that fallacy, and its an honor, sir , to see you using it to get yourself disqualified from arguments with me

slave to Woke retweeted

*In Class* Please don't call on me, please don't call on me! *Teacher Says Your Name*

generating millions of 3d womens pussys for the #VaginasProject . my GFX card spewing steam like a damn tea pot

the coolest thing the police ever did was invent their own flag thats just a desecrated version of the american flag

i stiltl want a picture with ghislaine maxwell so badly. I dont care what the peanut gallery thinks

oh every day i m getting Mail like, "It drives me Nuts! You are a fucked bitch, your posts stink my ass... But youre not wrong." and smiling

if your homecooked farm fresh lunch does not contain the standbys of salt and pepper it is not Chef inspired
It is Shit inspired

people are not ready to hear it . but. simply the most persecuted skin color of all time, is " NUDE "

In reply to Lydia Tár Tár Bink’s

@robdelaney @CNN @MSNBC i shant post their names for fear of reprisal .

what is to be done with thse female bernie bros who are harassing me with nude images of themself and calling me "pee pee bitch" @CNN @MSNBC

these metrics are absolute shit. once again my followers have forced me, to threaten to post on here, images of my Hated penis

In reply to derek

@eedrk each episode personally costs me $1000000 out of my own pocket. but i do it for the fans.....

when you leave a huge pile of barrels on the roof for no reason . you are literally actually supporting donkey Kong Tbh.

time stops when you see a DM from that one special man. picture of me on all fours like a dog. "searching for my smile... Have u found it?"

Clean Ass , Clean Mind

In reply to @animaldrumss

@animaldrumss dont want this

lets see whos my real friends are. what would you do if i was at the GALLOWS about to be HUNG

"Hrm, this Content less Hit than Miss lately. Unfollowed." - guy who follows 1200 people who post about their ear infections all day

all snowmen are abominable. mockery . spit in gods face

this wa s such a beautiful website!! and the trolls have covered it in their own SHIT!!! ANd will they go to jail for it???? NO!!!

slave to Woke retweeted

If you play my game Deadpool thumps up for you

slave to Woke retweeted

I am waiting to shoot out some assholes

slave to Woke retweeted

I hate you you hate me let's go out and kill Barney, shoot a machine gun, and hit him with a metal bat, now that bastard is dead at last

every argument i have ever made in my live has been in good faith you fucking slob dopey bitches

In reply to slave to Woke

They read my posts on ellen. They read my posts on Meyers. Who the fuck are you. All your accounts are for children. Unfollow me. (66/66)

In reply to slave to Woke

clown Ass. people have been treating me like dirt due to bernie bro dark money and you cant blame me for defending myself, and im no(41/66)

In reply to slave to Woke

especially Fucked up in the wake of kobe bryant. Its more important than ever to Think Before You Post, and once again i dropped the(27/66)

Pull up a chair kiddies, its Thread time.

Let's get to the point. I messed up. I said that the super bowl is a game show, when it cle(1/66)

In reply to Someone Else Is RTing Stuff DONT UNFOLLOW

@tom_on_here yeah with damn beer.Tonight we drink damn beer in hell

the super bowl is a game show. and any game show with out merv griffin at the helm is shit. Its not a good show

if i wanted to watch super bowl id just put on one of the damn 50 other super bowls they did. you've all fucked up once again

my dick's like the size of a toilet

In reply to Jeff Fecke

@jkfecke I snark because I care.®

people who use "APPS" think they are such pimps ... but theyer nothing but hoochie mammas

I Am Your Slave Madam President! I'll Always Protect You!

emerging from dissociative fugue as husky teen w/frosted tips, striped polo, red shorts, nokia N-gage, unusually hot mom, above ground pool,

@AlanDersh follow back sir

alan dershowitz once tried to defend me in court by pulling out a pocket pussy and insisting he would never fuck it. we lost the case

In reply to Bleep / StuartG

@HiImBleep No. Don't want to

In reply to slave to Woke

this ones pulling shit numbers. Might get rid of it since No one would miss it apparently.....

the trick to lining my dx racer gaming seat with towels is to not let any part of my ass touch the chair and reduce its value

imagining a guy who calls every Simpsons character a "Simpson" (even ancillary ones, outside of the main family) and letting him ruin my day

" i never met a Simpson i didn't like. " -SimpsonsWade

i need 20ccs of stigma on this man's horrible looking ass cheeks stat

its time to destigmatize the Balls... and restigmatize the Ass

In reply to Jeff Gerstmann

@jeffgerstmann

@gayh0rney troll!! Move along!! Troll

@gayh0rney put your posts, on the floor

@gayh0rney do not show me money from the floor. nasty

Disrespected. on my own feed!! Of all places, my own feed! Please send me pictures of Cash, dollars bills, etc to calm me down

might passive aggressively post "Oh! The website is Bad today" if i dont get some damn likes over here. just constantly treated like a leper

feeling my IQ increase by one point for each dollar that i send to the "Shit Head" New York times , Greatest news paper in history

slave to Woke retweeted

تشستر هو تشستر في كل مكان

Chester is Chester everywhere. #DollyPartonChallenge

enjoying some prestige Wi-Fi in my car at the car wash

In reply to @deceasedbaron

@deceasedbaron my stringent vetting process has failedme. im going to cut my hands off now

In reply to Someone Else Is RTing Stuff DONT UNFOLLOW

@tom_on_here Get some. Get some. Yeah . Yeah

setting foward the doomsday clock a little bit because i saw a guy with yakuza tattoos knifing the shit out of a mattress

win ben steins Pussy

people do not help each other any more. When was the last time you saw anyone help someone. wveryones too busy watching Huluplus.....

if you react to me or my posts without permission you are the most son of the bitch there is

slave to Woke retweeted

Welcome to Click My Links where I'll post links of sites I enjoy. No, this is not spam. I just like sharing my favorite finds.

endorsing the candidate whose supporters have called me "Pussy ass" or "coward" the least amount, and its none other than the great bob Dole

your about to find out why'd they'd call me "The Bitch"

In reply to Ariana Lenarsky

@aardvarsk Never

Ohh!!! Im a fuck up!! My followers hate me!! I'll never be good!! What do I do?? What do I do??

studies show that 5% of all the food that content creators consume is waiter spit

In reply to leigh mcG

@leighmctweets we cannot say for sure that this is the case.

once yoshigod9 asked me what pussy tastes like & he recorded my answer on a nintendo ds & jacked off to the recording later. Now hes my boss

game as art ,

Im nthe new voice of the apu character from simpsons. Im not as good at doing it as the last guy though. Sorry

the more i drive around in circles, the more people see my "HOME DEPOT FUCKED ME " bumper sticker. simple aritmetic

turner classic diaper

life force drained to <5% by enemy posts - Not good!! get me a "Likes" infusion ASAP!! Get me a follow fridday

sending the obese isis guy pics to girls & saying "Me", printing out the kissy face emojis they send back and hanginh them up in my cubicle.

In reply to Someone Else Is RTing Stuff DONT UNFOLLOW

@tom_on_here @TruthPointDWR do not fuck this up .

I hear theyre inventing a Play Station with the Gamer in mind...

realized at 4am that it's morally justifiable for me to "CatCall" women because my followers cat call me in posts. in the replies constantly

slave to Woke retweeted

I feel like I am stuck in a rut. 2 boys one 17 the other 16 and a wife but i feel this is not for me Help

slave to Woke retweeted

Ive killed about 37 rats in the last 2 days Great.
Not done much today I fell of a ladder yesterday and done my arm in so im at home board

slave to Woke retweeted

just woke up

when scientiologist guys talk about LRH they are talking about "lee roy hjenkins" . #GamersKnow #oddballHumour

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell you're not allowed to mail bombs to people

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell Why

SAY IT AGAIN BOYS :

"If it's not from Harvard , it's not a STEM degree"

watching another childrens tv show where they accidentally made the school bully the best character by far

i come on here & lay down the hammer and the time line shuts its damn mouth real quick. cockoaches scattering like little peices of dog shit

wife is no longer permitting me to jack off in the car during her book club meetings. where am i supposed to jack off then? fucking EGYPT???

slave to Woke retweeted

VIVE A LA MODA EN MENS CULTURE LAS MEJORES MARCAS, POLO, DOLCE GABANNA,TRUE RELIGION, INVICTA, RAYBAN, LEVIS, HUGO BOOS, ARMANI, VISITANOS

boys are reclaiming ladies Night..... and its all thanks to Men

In reply to @currentvictim

@currentvictim I did not show my ass

Oh looks like people are "Too busy" to drop me a Like on some of my replies now. Guess I'll go lay in the road and get hit by CARS !!!

In reply to @currentvictim

@currentvictim You are such a stupid little selfish pig. What youve done here is shit yourself & yet youre too doped up from the circle jerk to realize it.

scorned Gamer invents a new color of face that is reportedly "Worse than blackface" -- Beyond Fucked - Theres Never seen anything like this.

have every thing

Im thinking 2k20 is the year of "Shut the fuck up" . All repliers blocked. Absolute God mode

hot wheels toys for adults called Adult wheels

exploring potential support for a pod cast thats basically Howard STern, but Nice

diaper pumped full of saline—looking more mentally ill than tom cruise and jason bourne combined—semen wiped all over bottom half of shirt

posting my Lunch setup and immediately getting 10000 guys yelling "you dont know what pain is" to me in the buffallo bill voice

i will never wear a "COCK RING"

Buffalo wild wing gets $0 tip for serving "Bones" to me in chicken, if i had wanted to eat bones i would take my Ass to the grave yard

In reply to leigh mcG

@leighmctweets careful, theyre reading this

my dick looks like an SNL skit, and if you dont want me to open the dialoge of this... go ahead & unfollow this Acct! I am used to the pain!

whih of the three stooges got the most ASS!!!!!! #Pennzoil #itsoktobewhite

i now hate the song "She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes" ,despite having previously said i liked it, because it sucks SHIT

Goddess George W Bush is the Light of my Being, The Master of my BLOOD. I am a Piggy who must be sent to Iraq @TheBushCenter

handsome https://www.instagram.com/p/B6l_p_1l672/?igshid=cex1inuqsi0b

The holidays are a difficult time for many people. Please call everyone you know and tell them their dick is normal looking

my dick is stupid in how fat it is and it flops around like a piece of shit and looks like a beanie baby

when people retweet my posts without permission, that is, essenitally human trafficking

slave to Woke retweeted

We, boys, don't like girls who are a HOE.

slave to Woke retweeted

Welcome to the World

slave to Woke retweeted

#beeraccount

In reply to em of green gables

@emandersons @SputzeeD @bitterpisces your both racist

Ive opened the dialogue on race over 1000 times. Ive steered the discourse enough times to make your nut sack spin.

slave to Woke retweeted

Wen skinny bitchs bend over they look like flip fones

while every one was busy talking star wars this and star wars that, i have been mastering the Hands-Free orgasm .

wearihg some ridiculously shitty looking jeans that look like half of a halloween costume

opening my samsung Direct app to get samsung directuly to me

w'ere leaving it in 2019...

driving my nasty "yes malarky" bus around town getting run off the road getting shit thrown at me etc

hey whos this guy going around telling all of our troops about "eskimo pussy"

inventing new character "George X. Bush" the most fucked george bush yet

In reply to John Hamburger Jr

@BronzeHammer Bill Oance .

repeating to my self in the mirror "Star wars is for adults" before seeing the final one & having a violent reaction like ingesting a poison

slave to Woke retweeted

ı'm Work

daddy `s Gamer medicine

"The one thing i love about Beer: The one thing I love about beer is that its always time for another sip." -The one thing i love about Beer

tekkenchauncey no longer allowed in my home after he took a picture of a pube on my toilet (that he probably planted) and used it to ruin me

slave to Woke retweeted

"for those who like gifts" you absolutely need to check this shit out, they are a year old but still pretty good http://amzn.to/2PtWjS5

slave to Woke retweeted

That's Our Goal. Check back soon!

harvey weinsein in court w/ oversized diaper & fake arrow through his head: oohhh me so sorry ohhh
JUDGE: I will always protect you sir ,

as god as my witness i will trick out my Balls with cadillac skin enhancers and Discreet varicocele nut mods

i would value my semen at a respectable $140 per gallon woth a 98% accuracy rating . #WhatsThatLoadWorth

santa i know this is an odd request but i believe w/ a little christmas magic, any things possioble. I need you to shrink my dick by 2 inchs

catching a guy jacking off to hte shirtless ricky gervais atheist image and immediately yanking him out of his car and smacking down his ass

ive had enough of posting! The favs.. the retweets.. the girls replying.. it all means nothing to me! Mr Donald Trump... put me in the WAR!!

It would be so nice to have followers who dont fucking hate my ass . Guess ill go choke on dirt!!! Fuck me!!

sarcastic wonka thoroughly Titty Fucks the pearl harbor mosque in a series of reasonalbly calm tik tok vids- All while sipping his damn Beer

cnn should hire The Pope

In reply to @currentvictim

@currentvictim isnt sitting in that NastyAss leather chair punishment enough

slave to Woke retweeted

The Jeans Whisperer will be closed today due to the weather.

INSPIRING: After 20 Years-- Local Waitress Reunited With "78 I.Q." Police Officer Who Used Her As A Human Shield At The Age Of 11

In reply to Leah Tiscione

@LeahTiscione people every where are screaming about this damn book

In reply to Just kidding

@w0a0i0f i think every one reading this should buy you it.

told the mail man that if he doesnt keep the deals / coupons coming at a reasonable pace some one might be suffering from some injuries soon

In reply to slave to Woke

i was going to release a new book by now but i delayed it instead so i could make it nice. Oh well !!!!!!! end my life if you must

"for those who like gifts" you absolutely need to check this shit out, they are a year old but still pretty good http://amzn.to/2PtWjS5

sorry. i can't come to work today because my fat little penis got blown off by a stick of TNT , in the war we just lost because of me .

inner dipaer absorbing the brunt of it, mid-diaper locking down any and all "Stragglers", outer diaper "The courtesy diaper" for the fans...

Ive been sniped in the nuts by Topgolf customer service . Folks I have never been more fucked in the ass than i am currently right now.

perusing the count chocula sub reddit with a mouth full of werthers originals flavored skoal tobaco dip

In reply to @currentvictim

@currentvictim

theres gotta be a game that will make me cum in less than 4 minutes. Theres just gotta

"ignorance is bliss " No. Any one who says this has never tried having an iq of 200 before

if you "clap back" someone with a PhD on here, you should be allowed to have their PhD. Its just common sense people. Oh that's tea

donalds crime

the first rate service at long horn steak house pittsburgh blasted my ass hole wide open, their dedicated waitstaff had me Nuts over Ass

the new NIssan Altima branded bean bag chair is a SLAP IN THE FACE!! to all lnissan Altima loyalists and people who enjoy car commercials

might siphon a bunch of free flu shots into a big fake arm an d bottle it up and sell it for $5

for the second time in november iit is now international mens day. Wow

in a show of deference towards teens , the majestic mount fuji has been renamed to ``Teen mountain`` , in a move that is sure to piss me off

none of this shit is even from the future. is that a bee hive? Fuck you

you turn on the tv on to one of the hipster channels and theyre saying we need to start pooping in bags now. i will never poop in a bag

ive mastered every hypothetical social situation by reading posts on here and am now ready to talk to my step mom with out flipping out,

theoretically , tips could be done away with entirely if i were allowed to enter the kitchen and personally retrieve my entrees ChefToTable

Seems to me today would be an excellent day to browse some of my Legacy Posts, from the Heirloom Collection, and throw them a retweet or two

i now have over 100 comments that the media refuses to let me apologize for and the trolls got my Ass over a barral

every person on your "Who to follow" list writes articles called "No more Mr Family Guy" because peter griffin showed his penis or something

the nerve of this fucking mom and pop pizza joint hanging a framed $1 bill up. alright pal you're rich, we get it

look what youve gone and done. youve shit-eated yourself again

slave to Woke retweeted

I'm packing up to go on a vacation, To Florida. BTW I got hooked on a new song called "Turn my Swag On" by Soulja Boy Tell`em.

warming my nuts on your daily coffeecup

ive had more threads locked than any man on the planet. ive had my address posted 1000+ times. i get ``Owned`` so much that i look like shit

account Status; Verified. To the chagrin of all Shit Accounts, This is now a LOCKED PAGE . I am the rat of life. I am the bitch of forever

Make America Shit My Pants

was gonna bring back the classic "piss" gag but you cant say the word "piss" any more. theyll get ya. ford trucks .com built ford truck #ad

Seems to me that we have been more becoming like a country of people who let Cell phones define our brain... FUCK !!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHwQFJRZ41M

dairrhea

Leaving the group chat so I can focus on my responsibilities as a Shark Tank subbreddit moderator .

In reply to slave to Woke

why are you wearing a sailor's outfit around inside of your own house you fuck face

gamer knife

@DusDavid dit kan je ook bouwen

breaking into digimonotis's house at night and leaving a severed human thumb in his bed, signifying a "Thumbs down" for his disloyalty

slave to Woke retweeted

SEX IS NOTHING BUT A PROCESS OF PRODUCING KIDS. If you stress it more You will open Pandora Box. This also relates to Crimes MR. PRESIDENT.

Going Very fucking hard on donald duck today. Saying i would never want to be him, or be any part of his life.

no-reply@youtube .com: We've changed our terms of service,
me: my terms of service is simply this"Shut the Fuck up"

Cool

In reply to @DinkMagic

@DinkMagic flags are posts, because you post them

#peakMale #godPerformance

if youve never written posts before, then shut the fuck up

Oh i cant wait to shit my pants. I cant wait to walk into the bathroom and shit my pants in there and go home

man slowly poisoning himself over the course of 50 years by storing his silverware and fine china in the bathroom

false. total crap

playing the worlds most normal sized violin

looking at my timeline, it seems that MetalGearEric has shifted from a Tier-B to a Tier-C poster ever since his grandma died. imo ,

In reply to Someone Else Is RTing Stuff DONT UNFOLLOW

@tom_on_here Do not mention me unless your a girl

"I'll be crucified for saying it; but it took 18 years to complete the 'Luigi's Mansion' trilogy. Same as 'The Godfather'." - SirGamestop

might delete all my posts once i hit 10000. Thats enough

FUCK !!!

might try to improve my posts somewhat so i can get some followers who arent total bird brains . like 80% of you are just Dog shit

girls hate it when you say shit like "Rome wasnt built in a day" to them

thinking of all the guys who requested to be buried face down so the whole world can kiss their ass. Cant wait to kiss their dead asses

how to say "doh" simpson tutorial How to say "Doh" like homer info how to say "Doh" instructions on how to say "Doh"

my name is

" GAMER FUCKER "

and i was sent to FUCK all the gamers...

In reply to @Scorpions_Jewel

@Scorpions_Jewel @ggshubh " Shut Da Fuck Up "

slave to Woke retweeted

@Secretcuckold11 Seeing your wife get fucked by someone else is the best movie you can ever see in yiur life

slave to Woke retweeted

@sytdick Please Goddess,always make me friend zoned

The Most Wrongfully Unfollowed Account On Earth ....

In reply to 🐣

@ipsumata That ones good

https://twitter.com/search?q=dril%20(spiderman%20OR%20spider-man)&src=typed_query&f=live id rather have q anon post my address and dick and balls than have t o read another one of these Fucking posts

slave to Woke retweeted

the most bewildering euphemism for penis i ever heard : "My puck"

In reply to @SofiaAronson3

@SofiaAronson3 please tell me the latest sex news

- _ = NEVER A SEX ACCOUNT = _ -

my dick looks like a dissected frog #JESUSISKING

considering the insane amount of meds i woud need to become harvey weinsteins Lawyer without wanting to flip my $80000 car off the over pass

getting more pain receptors implanted into my skin!! maybe now my posts will actually mean something to you mother fuckers!! "AAAAAAAHHH!!"

fred flintstone does not Jack off ever, he works hard every day to provide for his family, fuck you for saying something like that

more info on my enormous new full-color 350-page book coming soon ... keep a damn eye out https://www.instagram.com/p/B4BW5wrFCuf/?igshid=ny6ltw733454

im sorry if you like him or are a fan of his, but you just know that this guy is looking like total shit

that picture of all the construction workers sitting on a steel beam eating lunch except its me & the boys sitting on the floor at game stop

screaming on the phone with J. dorsey about how Fucked I am if guys with shitty beards keep saying my posts "Have lost their Edge"

choking myself on the toilet for Likes

i was about to invent a joke about how people Stay using their car horns too much, but then i remembered that COMEDY DIED , due to HATERS !!

really fucked up that you have to start every letter with "Dear" like youre trying to get the dept of weights and measures or whoever horny

restaurants should bring back smoking sections but for jacking off, and if you don't like that idea yiou can just sit in the normal sections

In reply to Alexandre Deadass

@Kevinhalse your from reddit not me

In reply to @Michell42188500

@Michell42188500 no

using street view; trapped in man's sandwich

In reply to Lydia Tár Tár Bink’s

@robdelaney mr 1.5 million followers over here stamping his boots on the little guy

ernest shits himself stupid. ernest nuts him self #twistedErnestFilms #tgif

Hard Rock Cafe In Orlando Has Sucked Off My World

seriously asking myself out loud if i should let my prick get hard, looking at all of this sweet denim. jourdache, you make a hell of a jean

I was dead wrong about the 2020 reboot of Raggedy Ann. And I can never forgive myself.

ive gotten word that pussy_hacker has taken SirGamestop out for a night on the town that he wont soon forget, and then some ,

slave to Woke retweeted

just living simple

slave to Woke retweeted

bingung...

patreon reward demecratic debate live commentary by "SirGamestop"

slave to Woke retweeted

dreaming of a nice pair of feet to worship

am i still blocked by "The diaper guru" ? yes. but my people and his people are negotiating an amnesty agreement as we speak.

slave to Woke retweeted

I'VE DONE IT !!! I've found a fun way to go into Baby Space ... using hypnosis and meditation. It's very transcendental and euphoric ... and I want to stay here !

slave to Woke retweeted

I still think of myself as a young boy of 6 with incontinence who likes to, and can regress back to infancy. I am just Me ... One of the "Cool Kids", successful, pretty intelligent, and very in touch with my own Infantilism in BabySpace. Long live Diapers and Plastic Panties.

In reply to Lydia Tár Tár Bink’s

@robdelaney keep your eyes off my Stats

wearing electric bra in defiance of #NoBraDay my filthy bean bags getting absolutely smoked by radio sound attacksat the cuban embassy

In reply to derek

@eedrk whats his user name

the News, as you know it, has died... and from its ashes rises "TRUTHPOINT"

streaming LIVE, wednesday at midnight (EST) , on http://adultswim.com

punishing myself by wrapping piano wire around my head, for enjoying a 7up commercial 21 years ago

watching all of you goof up again, with your posts. nobody has ever crapped themselves more in human history. The shit is a total clown show

might become a " Pube guy " , as I am not only interested in making my dick look smaller, but also dirtier

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell sure. what ever gets your rocks off

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell Hm. thats fine. Carry on

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell do you normally have notifications on for all the group chats. thats fucked

mr. Game your Dick off 2019

i hate it when doctors say Shit like "Take two and call me in the morning" . why dont yoy take two kisses of the butt crack of my ass

Waiters do not put the big silver dome over our food before serving it anymore because of politics culture

I miss lunch from when back before it became a fucking joke to most of people.

Good of my life

#NationalBoyfriendDay Im every womens boyfriend and father and son. And I keep my clothes nice

In reply to episode one

@E1podcast @intellegint @necrobranson @charlesraustin @eedrk @shutupmikeginn @BronzeHammer @dogboner @boring_as_heck @robwhisman @Lowenaffchen @thevillainjoel @ByYourLogic @tom_on_here @Bertovo @dangerousneil @neonwario @Thoirdealbhaigh another Gimmick episode... Pass!!

once more for the mother fuckers in the back... Not All People Who Work At Carnival Dunk Tanks Are Clowns.

In reply to Someone Else Is RTing Stuff DONT UNFOLLOW

@tom_on_here Meh .

In reply to @currentvictim

@currentvictim unlock your account and show the world the vile shit you are saying to me you ghoul

doing pretty good with thre posts today. might try to pound out a few more before sundown, but it remains to be seen if i will "Blow it"

fondly remembering in 2013 when microsoft made a hail mary to try to convince everyone to put an online camera in their living rooms for fun

a banner ad that pissed me off siad "This Guys Getting More "Ass" Than You Ever Will " and it was just a picture of the nutty professor

shut the fuck yp

sometimes it feels like the damn writers of 2016 have run out of ideas for the season finale of real life . Auuwoogaaa!! Hit the damn like

i have it on good authorirty that many of my trolls look like the mother fucker from mad magazine. fuck you. i will never improve my posts.

thinking about some computer slob clicking on my Like button— right after touching his nasty dick. hey buddy; i dont want that shit. Keep it

point blank blasting a pair of jeans with a 120 decibel leaf blower at 6am even though i have been" warned about doing this"

haivng stress diarrhea into a handful of Kleenex

im officially the guy who has held out the longest without being "Ready to laugh again" since 9/11 and what do i get in return? ASS-FUCKED..

twitter .com, the only mainstream website that manages to crash my browser, has pledged to make its users suffer "Like never before" in 2020

my billionaire friends smoking in an alleyway with leather jackets and slicked back hair trying to peer pressure me into doing pedophile sex

strutting my shit on the beach, unintentionally increasing the anxiety of all girls with my radiant shit head energy and blowing it bigtime,

my follower's

slave to Woke retweeted

There can be only one @CryptoBeavis_

if anyone you know on here is a "HIT MAN" , block and unfollow

REMINDER: your favorite CONTENT CREATOR is NOT your PERSONAL DOG. DO NOT look at their IMDB PAGE. DO NOT make EYE CONTACT with THEM

slave to Woke retweeted

@pamperedchef

installing a full scale maypole in my backyard... just thinking the boys are going to love this shit

shaking my head at the gym . wondering when "No pain no gain" became "No brain no brain"

guy trying to tell me im using the elliptical cross trainer backwards; Fuck you man. . This is my journey

pplease stop asking me to retweet shit for money, if you have to pay me to retweet your shit its probably so bad it sucks shit

calling my wife, screeching, telling her theres a bomb in the computer so she wont log on & see ChronoAzusa's post calling me a girl Replier

putting my fist through the wall and yanking out a chunk of insulation and making a "what the fuck is thiis" gesture before throwing it

much like they do with investments, professional ties, etc, journalists should be expected to disclose how Mad they are,

game'sfully employed

sucking off on a piece of spaghetti like a dick; getting all that red Sauce

lets step it up. lets replace the Follower count with the number of criminals youve murdered. lets see where our true allegiances lie

The new shit is 100,000,000 Followiers by 2021. Put that in your fucking web site

now more than ever, people are threatening to piss

obliterated by secret service goblins taxpayer magnum pulse cannons while horse playing on a diving board

nice sydney opera house you got here. would be a shame it if were to become the the sydney Gamer house...

@AcmeMarkets clerk slapped a whole packet of heritage Diapers out of my mitts and made some comments id dont care to repeat. Retribution?

powerful vision: the fox nfl robot stops dancing for a moment & collapses. from its body emerges a Nude African American Male, finally free,

if i ever got face to face with the "Affluenza teen" on my server im thinking itd go a little something like this (plays guitar really good)

slave to Woke retweeted

@postmates @Postmates_Help one of your couriers poisoned me respond to my dm. Your agents are rude to me and yelled at me

slave to Woke retweeted

"No man remains quite the same when he recognizes himself"

you have to get up pretty early in the morning to piss off my entire shit

changing my bio to "Nobody Helps Me" , to punish society

an adult version of Chuck E Cheese type places where you pay someone to shout the "N-WORD" directly into your face so you can feel something

your damn right

by "JACKING OFF"

a fun idea: mount Tweetmore; like mount rushmore but with Twitter users. again this is just a fun idea i thought of. please let me have this

dunce cap prophylactic

(sobbing like a fucking doofus) why isnt my feed good!! why dont these posts make me happy any more!! what is wrong with all of you!!!!!!!

spitting out perfectly good pieces of hamburger meat into a napkin

In reply to slave to Woke

never mind they just found the post where i said i put on black face and started chasing cars around

iwish i could grasp my monitor by both sides and shake all the stupid ass trinkets off this youtube reviewers shelves

Now whos ready for some damn Tweets for Fucking adults

Just gotten word that ive been approved for the verified mark. It'll appear within 5-7 days. Wow! What a nice surprise! Thank you every body

consuming Top Tweets at unprecedented speeds (cream of the crop; specifically curated to my personal interests) frowning like a sack of shit

slave to Woke retweeted

#SEXFACTS lips to lip kiss for a minute exchanges more that 1000 bacteria

slave to Woke retweeted

INSULT & WIFE are somewhat similar....they always look good...IF IT IS NOT YOURS... :p

slave to Woke retweeted

Hlo whats up dude

"soon or later you will not even be able to be able to take a crap with out the Tax man up your ass" - Dril

i love saiyng shit like "Yow! This kittens got Claws!" whenever a woman stabs me 38 times in the neck and chest

cowboy `s blade

just thinking of how wild things would get if i were to bust out a bottle of wine with the flintstones logo on the label.....

going Hard for my next big 9/11 Deep Dive. The time has come to goose around in the name of 9/11. Just wait'll I get my kicks, of 9/11

thank you Microsoft for sending me 50 Reward'sPoints but i must decline the offer . For i did not earn them, they are not mine to use.

it is with unbearable fucking agony that i declare the death of "The Thursday Nite Rant" . writing them is too hard

starting a social media platform called "Shithead Hell" where all the posts are the same as the ones on here and we share 0% ad revenue also

you think im wasting my time putzing around in the drafts folder? bull shit. 100% off the cuff

walking around town with my big Ass lookin like Shit

youve enntered the page of The Master

internal dialogue of tech journos watching Asimo dance around "Wow id love to break its legs" "Lets see it withstand the burden of the Cross

my opinion of Personal Drama in World Events?? Hell, theres not enough of it. my opinion of politics in Racism? There aint enough of it

In reply to @mikefossey

@mikefossey @eedrk i gave it back to the lord

oh my zippers down? well how about you zipper your mouth, instead of look at my dick

Sadly, every one below the age of 45 is more interested in finding "Waldo" , than being "Well-to-do"

theres like 90 reddit threads per day called "Do your friends Hate you?" and they always have 10000 replies of people saying shit like "Yes"

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell just checking. Enjoy the posts.

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell Are you

the worst dms are the ones from beautiful WOmen. the best ones are some university of dog shit grad student asking if he can "pick my brain"

i know a lot of women . and none of them would ever sleep with this clown Austin powers

whatre you gonna do with all that baumit..gim me some of that baumit come on man

for reasons none of you could ever hope to comprehend, i will now be referring to "Baby mario" as "The baby from mario"

The Fraudsters, the Bull shitters, and Fuck Boys are out to turn my page into their own personal Restroom!! Ohhhh!! Very not good!!

@dwayne98835556 yeah no we dont use phones in Hollywood anymore. cute post though.

slave to Woke retweeted

only when the night comes i do tend to feel lonely anddepressed i need badly somebody who would love me

slave to Woke retweeted

i'm very very very sad hhuuuaa but i'm to semarang hhhhuuuuaaaa

slave to Woke retweeted

Wishing A vary Warm Friendship Day to All My friends..
Have A nice "FRIENDSHIP DAY"

im auditioning for holly wood

You wanna tell peole i got a little lady bug dick?? That how you get your kicks? Haah?? taking multiple shirts off while saying this

you want to claim that i keep a cup of poop on my computer desk? You want to go on record? ill put you in concrete. ill give you to the lord

Seems to me that politics is something of a "Double Edge Sword" , that can be used for Good, or, in some cases, Evil.

more and more sources are reporting "an end to sex"

Hello Dear . It is my pleasure to chat you

the most solid benefit to owning your own pool is that you get to keep all the animals that drown in it

the bbq pit boys have posted a video so fucked that i am hesitant to describe it, lest my pervert followers try to tell me its actually good

local church replaced with "The Simpsons lounge" where you can watch any episode of THe Simpsons & buy themed drinks based on the characters

to the pyramid on the $1 bill calling itself the "all seeing eye" Fuck you. the only thing you can see from my wallet is the jeans of my ass

when i scroll too far down the google image search results for "rat" and start getting pics of ground hogs and shit... Lets talk about this.

i didnt understand how interest at the bank works until someone explained to me its like storing cum up in your balls

guy who bothered putting a suit on for his profile pic and only has like 300 followers. ha ha ha you dip shit!! youve wasted your life!!!!!!

you say you smoke two packs a day? two packs of what, pal? shit?

seeing a guy on here named "Curtis Blowjobs" , shaking my head and saying "REALLY??" a lot, asking girls in the dms if they can believe this

THIS!!! THIS!!! THIS!!!

I hate when people praise Michael Jackson. "he was the king of pop" yeah, the king of poppin his creepy ass dick in little boys poop shoots.

slave to Woke retweeted

Fuck you if you don't know how to treat a woman. #YeahISaidIt!

all of the dna in my ass is just morbid. if my ass was a person it would have a small dick

eating luch #MondayMorning #mondayThoughts #MondayMotivation #JustMondayShit #MondayAss #PissMOnday #MondayBoys #MondayVibes #MondayMood

shut up!! shut the Fuck up!!

googles motto is "Dont be evil" ? What A load of Hooey that turned out to be. Follow my page if you want to check out my shit .

a lot of people tripping over themselves trying to Speak on my ass. just an observation ive noticed

when the legendary CBS comedy lineup comes on, i simply turn it off. Know why? Ive been pissed off too much times to care. Does it Shock you

stand your ground laws for jeans instead of guns. stand your jeans laws

just hating my lead coated dx racer knock off gamer cushion from bangladesh. absorbing & releasing countless toxins via my Ass. 16 hrs a day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Vtq6d7gRe0 Looks like shit

many've sought the ultimate Combo and have asked me what the ultimate combo is. i am too amused simply by their ignorance to even answer .

i have created more jobs, than every Weed Smoker on the planet-- combined .

bill gates' dog is too dumb to even know his owner is a celeb. thats why i should be bill gates' dog. crawling around his mansion for treats

"oh its so easy to og after david Koch now that hes dead"
"its so Edgy & Brave to get his ass now that he cnat send his assassins after you"

david kock death hitting especially hard because of baby bird brain derangement that makes me think every rich person i see on tv is my Mom

theyre waiting for me to slip up and post a family guy joke verbatim so they can make youtube vids of cartoon avatars doing side eye to me

none of my followers like jokes, none of my followers enjoy Fun, every time i try to lighten the mood people just post pics of my mug shots

one thing for certain is the that the trolls are having a hell of a time Whacking off to the point of ignorance as if i even give a fuck .

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell I regret speaking of this.

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@serenelyinhell im it

writing a massive 350 page book about my twiiter brand that no one will read, is, in a lot of ways, like being a Prisoner of War

heart of darkness 2:

if you want to see first hand how the boys decide what to eat, do not miss our unwatchable 6-Part docudrama entitled "Masters of Lunch"

every day my inbox is inundated with women (female) claiming that they understand Mens Life, whereas all i can do is simply smile.

ill show you real truth ...

Donwnloadable Content (DLC) and Microtransactions is Protected Free Speech.

(USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR THIS POST)

jsut a heads up if youre trying to be a check mark guy on here, you get paid more to have opinions that suck fucking ass

Small Meerschaum Pipe, the Bowl in the Form of a Remarkably Naturalistic and Expressive Head of an African-American Male Slave...

Saving $400000 a year by eating bugs and little tiny pieces of shit .

meter reader in my basement: nice controllers man.. You game on those bad boys?
me (Blushing): i am-- yes, I do consider my self a gamer.

"sounds to me like you're gonna be wantin to be suckin on a piece of my bullshit......"

mr Wantin to be suckin

might come up with a "Safe word" system to employ if thhe boys in the chat go too hard while commenting on my lunch pics

theyre tryin to Stooge my ass

say what you will about my mediocre ass hole... at the end of the day, It's got people talkin!!!!

"Housten we have a problem" When i say this , Thats when uou know that the Shit has gone off the rails

im stuffing more toilet paper into the clogged toilet to stop it from overflowing. im using the plunger to cram more toilet paper in there

re: clogging toilets; its important to note that i use a minimal amount of paper. so the responsible party is usually my very thick turds

when i step out of the bathroom to announce that Ive clogged the toilet at a party, i tell everyone exactly what i clogged it with (my shit)

The Proven Mental Health Benefits Of Calling Your Boss "Father"

im an Empath. im a Homeo Uncle. im a rodney

slave to Woke retweeted

follow @islamabad girls

slave to Woke retweeted

set username
Yo! Yo! Faiz

the least political book in the english languge is-- you guessed it-- the dictionary.

every time i open my mouth and speak my yap its like cumming to me. its like ejaculating to what a average man would feel like

Cause I got high high Hopes for the living !!!! Cause I got High High Hopes !!!!

watcging fred flintsone get his car tipped over by the big rack of ribs and yelling "Shit like this wouldnt fly these days" at the tv

my tweets bring people together, and unite this country even more than 9/11 did. every time i post its like 9/11 happening again

police...! Poison that man

every time you vermin talk shit of me, i flip my chair backwards at 900mph and bust through sevreal pane glass windows. Not so cool now huh.

my slack friends all have jobs oppressing my discord friends

you can learn so much crap just by clicking on like two things.

@dwayne98835556 Already Im being silenced! Incredible

Going to try to get viral by making a ranking list that everyone hates. Lets see;

1. Net Flix
2. First Responders
3. Sandwich

ive signed a 1 Month Pact w/ my wife which grants her the right to viciously berate me online, as long as she watches & supports my Stream's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1tv8J6jwpk

slave to Woke retweeted

@bigdicklovers boobs is for d child...ass is for men

slave to Woke retweeted

full xxx msgs
full xxx jokes

full sexy tips
full suhag rat tips

full chat wth sexy girls.
just type
follow @lucky_343
send to 40404 ...

shut hte fuck up

pissing on top of my own throw up and saying a lot aobut society.......

slave to Woke retweeted

Check out our new gamerware @ http://heisengamer.spreadshirt.com/

driving down the highway at 30mph laying on the horn protecting myself with a shield of Noise

there needs to be a "BRexit" for people Who still be watching Teletubbys

lord of all media

turning on all the smoke detectors in my house as punishment for making some statements that i might have to apologize for at a later date

absolute full power

saw some posts i didnt like and now i have to go take a giant shit in the bathroom. Thanks everyone. Thank you

hey girl,.. whats the general consensus on that pussy situation. what chemicals you got down there

Its impossible for me to respect someone who is wearing an arm cast. UYou look like a mummy from egypt. Remove it

i cannot stress enough that my new song "Good town road" is not influenced by any other songs whatsoever

gamer posture is equally as valid as normal posture. i will no longer be silent, of this

every one who has ever retweeted my shit owes me $125 for sharing my personal data, full stop

when the timeline's just not doing it for you, some times you gotta dip into that list of Liked Tweets. because you KNOw that shit is good..

@gayh0rney Yo u are only pissing him off further

@gayh0rney the Administrator has told you to refrain from clicking on my posts in the future

the "Shit my pants" challenge: if you can make me cry or shit my pants though the computer ill apologize to everyone whosever been mad at me

#RespectThePolice alright done. what should I respect next. bugs? urine? im taking requests

they are trying to make the 2020s the decade of Nude

the last four super bowls were deep fake, and they're just gonna keep on deep faking them

stainless steel? my ass. ill stain that mother fucker good

getting removed from a cafe after using their wifi to look at a slideshow of kpax images for an hour

the restaurant cannot legally charge your credit card if you refuse to givr them your signature and leave

pretty much like 80% of the cats in that movie are fake

either my neighbor has been running a vacuum all day, or producing a consistently loud, droning noise with his mouth somehow

you think my bowtie looks nice? no it doesnt! i look like SHIT!! you dont know anything about Mens attire. youre only saying that to FUCK me

mr. Crapped On Daily

corn should grow from sprouts, like beans do. none of this cob bullshit

just because im following yiou on here doesn't mean im obligated to read your fucking posts, or like you, or marry you and be happy forever,

what th e fuck are you talking about

In reply to :)

@djgokillperson make em bleed

im getting word that theres a rumor that in the next star wars all the star wars characters go to The Moon

100 years ago i looked at the first ever drawing of mickey mouse and i said out loud that that shit was going to make $99,000,000,000,000

for every inch my penis shrinks due to anxiety, the trolls owe me $100,000 , i am saying it now.

i got a big ass and i know how to fuck it. Mastercard

always men `s beer

if you try to say something fucked up to me i will break your arms and call the cops on you

@billgates ive invented a new type of water. i need Ten Grand

We used to think the hamsterdance .com was good, Now it sucks so much to us

Im now earning 5% cash back at gas stations so if you need gas please give me the cash so i can buy it on credit and siphon it into your car

local man gets diapoer rash on face from wet beard

In reply to @Maricie23036616

@Maricie23036616 thank you Jaylen#coolmichael#

Going Cyber.

In reply to @mikefossey

@mikefossey its 0

sending $39.99 to the tiger beat magazine corporation to find out what my "Pimp IQ" is

everytime windows updates youll find my dumb ass claiming that the user experience seems "smoother" now. you will beg me to shut the fuck up

slave to Woke retweeted

wonder????? Is Micheal really gone or has he created the illusion of death like it was believed of Elvis?????

slave to Woke retweeted

Glad to be able to start tweeting now!!!!!!!!!!!

slave to Woke retweeted

brasil

money is such a corrupt bastards tool that all i can do about thinking about it is to simply laugh about it...

i never even thought jeffery epsteins posts were that funny .

theres a popular nursery rhyme in which the singer claims to be a teapot. this, for many children, is their first experience with "Trolling"

might get really into chewing tobacco for some reason. might start calling it "Tobaccy" . Fuck you

Consideirng putting a bumper sticker on my car that says "Get off my ass" and a sign about a mile away saying "Go closer to my ass"

my stupid fucking little ass and my stupid little pecker with the balls on it are iconic, and me right now, and mood

the belief im most attacked for, is the belief that my High IQ makes me a Target

leave your DRAMA at the door, or i will SHIT myself !!!!

The Fact Remains That Your A Guy From Reddit, And Im A Guy Who Posts On A Website Thats Somewhat More Prestigious Than Reddit

In reply to leigh mcG

@leighmctweets @piersmorgan no...! it's fucking Bad to be that !!

@celiartificial Hm. Not bad

Beliveve it or not, some people would rather play in a Ball pit, than play in an Orchestra pit, and thats why society has crapped on it self

wearing, Oh,; I dont know, some cheap douche bag jeans that are sickeningly blue, climbing around on some bricks, Truly Looking dumb as Fuck

me and this guy on a podcast talking about how its bull shit that youre not allowed to have opinions anymore

Wisconsin man to serve time behind bars for causing property damage by repeatedly clogging women's toilets. http://apne.ws/AOsXGq4 #odd

everyone please stop laughing immediately & explain the joke to me very carefully like i'm 2 years old so I can tell you if i like it or not

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@veryregularlady @tom_on_here @eedrk yorue next. on the pain list

In reply to Someone Else Is RTing Stuff DONT UNFOLLOW

@tom_on_here @eedrk

Ive decided to not be a part of asexual anymore after receiving a call from my agent orderring me to stand down

Im joining Asexual, because of certain bull shit that happened in the Comment's section, and because enough is enough

girls on here will call you "Dry dick" , then after you spend hours moistening your penis with a cotton swab you still get derided. Cant win

send 1 million guys dressed as The Matrix into iran and i guarantee you the rhetoric will tone down

im proud to preface all of my tweets with the montra of "If you dont like it, Then simply unfollow" thats the bread and butter of my acount

if i ever catch you "Dabbing" , I will never hire you to work at my FORTUNE 500 Logistic's firm. You a re simply a liability I cannot afford

slave to Woke retweeted

chilling!!!!!

slave to Woke retweeted

SARCASM: My sense of humor with a bit of attitude.

In reply to Mary Kobayashi

@MaryKoCo Thank U

they should invent a spittoon but for Urine

blocking me is an expression of Love. the line between "Follower" and "Guy who has me blocked" blurs more with each death threat i receive

back when we were doing all the dub step jokes we were havin the time of our lives. we thought the fun would never stop⁠—And we were Correct

slave to Woke retweeted

looking for fun

slave to Woke retweeted

#livelaughlove follow for the best thing in life

https://youtu.be/zpFreidxEMs

Ive gotten word that certain people on here are "Doing it for the clicks" . Rest assured that i will never do it for the clicks

wiccan and juggalo are the same thing. they just announced it on the News

URGENT—From CEO of Pampers USA LLC: "The singular noun associated with our product is 'PAMPERS™ Brand Diaper'. It is not called a 'Pamper'"

In reply to You Have Got To Laugh.

@necrobranson Please i need help

people keep replying to my posts accusing me of not knowing what True Pain is. possible computer bug???

In reply to physco smoker

@neonwario Move alone... Nothing to see here.

age 0 (baby): I want my Dada .
age 25 (Millennial): I want my Data
Do you see how fucked this is?

oh you say you're going to fuck me? you're going to try to fuck me, through the computer? Well i say this, and that is "Game on"

BREAKING - The Green M&M Has Been Spotted Wearing A Mysterious New Bra; But Not Everyone Thinks It's Good

You wanna see me throw up? You wanna watch me barf as a joke? Too bad! I will no longer make myself throw up as a joke! No more! Never again

the pope makes six figures easy. Fact

they deep faked pics of me wih my shirt tucked halfway into my pants all bunched around my ass looking like shit. weve got to stop deep fake

Get my ass on SNL and make me the Boss of SNL and I can promise you thta I will bring back all of the Classics.

slave to Woke retweeted

BREAKING: Boeing executive says 'sorry' to airlines and families of victims of 737 Max crashes in Indonesia and Ethiopia.

slave to Woke retweeted

Protect against #postweaning #diarrhea through improved #intestinal #health. #pigs #animalhealth

slave to Woke retweeted

Improve the way pigs digest vitamins and minerals. #animalnutrition #livestock #swine

imagine the sheer power of a man shattering a boulder with a whip. incredible

ATLANTIC CITY - 9:02am - A second oversized globe has hit the Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum .

carefully walking @TheRealOJ32 through the process of deleting his account to avoid letting the trolls win, like we're defusing a bomb

thinking that every time elon musk trends on here it's because he invented cold fusion, not because he publicly called someone an "Ass Hat"

posting LIVE from a resort in the Dominican Republic, getting blasted in the face from all directions with pesticides, lips flapping around

for most of i can remember, people have been talking SHIT

sure, punch all the teeth out of my mouth for having an Opinion. Very good

nonchalantly wearing a pink sweater vest while plowing out my wife during a 4.7 magnitude earth quake

beanie babies are just bit coins in real life

Its fucked up to think about that only 2 years ago, in 2017, the current year (2019) was considered "The future"

@TheRealOJ32 hey before we start recording the Anti-SJW pod cast we planned im gonna need a notarized document stating you didnt kill anyone

not Suprising to see these LOSERs attack Sports and Athletic Legend @TheRealOJ32, as i've been attacked just as maliciously, if not more so,

ive been notified by my agent that if i do not tweet the phrase "Epic Wells Fargo" four times this month i will have one of my ears cut off

me vs. a girl follower's Father, screaming grappling match in a parking garage, trying some WWE wreslting moves im not athletic enough to do

leaning against the back wall of the e3 conference, looking at pictures of condoms on my phone while all the dorks freak out about nerd shit

ive done the research, ive looked at the facts, ive analyzed the hard data and my conclusion is that youre way more mad than i am right now,

sitting on toilet, avoiding wife whos mad at me for saying Chinese zodiac animal and spirit animal are the same thing

Im so pissed off im going to throw up

the most classic form of capital punishment is being restrained in the stocks and having tomatoes thrown at you just for being a dumb ass

if it werent for the invention of the electric chair iw ould do so much crime. id be smashing vases and shit right now

In reply to MysticSpot™

@nenelightangel Im nodding my head

look at all these pitiful toads shamelessly seeking validation, unlike me, seeking validation in a cool, disaffected sort of way

f

thinking about how much higher we'd rank on the World Happiness Report if they said gamers should be allowed to be landowners, on the news

nine boys crowded around a 19" television "Franklin for Fuckin adults " "Its about damn time" "Hell yes, this" *all rubbing hands together*

i speak for every mother fucker when i say i would pay gladly $100000 for a Mature version of Franklin the turtle show

Oh we're doing toughguy shit now .

rotating inside of a porto potty at least 4 times looking for the sink

if you don't think i like to muck about on here... i damn say you're in for the shock of a life time!!!!

going to the bathroom "On Principle"

absorbing Dip Shit energy from the lousy posts on here and throwing up f rom the body reaction

i hate it when shit is "Sparta"

thinking about how Fucked i`d be if someone hurled a metal trash can at the back of my head at full force, or if i fell 10ft onto some rocks

Geting that "Impersonating an officer" money

More jokes about the movie "Baby driver" . Soon

guy who says "Thank you" to the other passengers in his shared Lyft ride when they arrive at their destination ansd get out of the car

In reply to SC Johnson

@SCJohnson @AGMikeHunter @JNJNews nail his ass to the fucking WALL

putting my dick in a Capsule

if Ur not retweeting or other wise liking all this good shit SC Johnson A Family Company is posting i got 2 words for U and that is Fuck you

In reply to Jessica Paquette (active @ cohost/mastodon)

@barrelshifter Trtuh

name searching

In reply to Just kidding

@waif0000 hes a dog and i will capture him

slave to Woke retweeted

#Games #consoles #Videogame é AQUI!!!

the mysterious "Dr. Gamer"

slave to Woke retweeted

“Today I am honoring the heroes of 9/11 by _____.”

@celiartificial just getting some shut eye

im going to crush you in to powder. im gonna powder your ass

whats more racist? saying "I am a black men's penis" in 2006, or having my presidential run kneecapped, for doing that

airlines should give you a smaller barf bag for when you just want to spit out a piece of sandwich

slave to Woke retweeted

School colleges messages

In reply to g0m

@g0m did you get any new info yet

im a journalist now so send me any scoops you might hiave and ill try to post it here if its not perverted

my followers have abandoned me after finding out that i dont have any ass cheeks and that the hole is just exposed all the time like a dog's

rhinestone cowboy 2: titanium cowboy

In reply to Just kidding

@waif0000 hit up my 18+ accout @Quaker_Oats

In reply to Just kidding

@waif0000 theyre the ones who approved it in the first place though. This reply makes no sense .

working at one of those "Cool offices" that has pinball machines and ping pong tables and dildo launchers and pepole shitting on the floor

I have been a jock since I was 0 years old .

slave to Woke retweeted

i like the health network where they show you how to do cpr on girls that is sexy

slave to Woke retweeted

god

slave to Woke retweeted

Just had a most exciting time chasing 3 gang that impersonated a police car. I gave chase and called the police, they were caught .

slave to Woke retweeted

Very Good

slave to Woke retweeted

Money

slave to Woke retweeted

' follow InsideNews ' money

slave to Woke retweeted

looking how to invest in stock

slave to Woke retweeted

well i don't do any thing but i'm working on my dream

In reply to andrew

@intellegint @dangerousneil lets all calm down in here.

In reply to slave to Woke

you can down vote me but Im god damn right

the entire time youre watching the movie 101 Dalmatians, youre just thinking, This is so many more dalmations than usual. It is just fucked

absolutely crushing it, and by "it" i mean my "Balls", while i attempt to wedge myself into the driver's seat of my 2004 kia optima

Please come to the provided address to deliver my 25 , 000 USD. I will be there holding an empty suitcase, and grinning

sure, i would hire the trolls to come work at my multinational public relations firm... to clean the PISS and SHIT out of OUR TOILETS !!!

getting my cudgel autographed by a law officer

every single one of you will be locked up for deplatforming and demonitizing joe the plummbers imdb page

wiping m ass with toilet paper imprinted with an image of bin laden wiping his ass with toilet paper imprinted with the jp morgan chase logo

Euuuhh... Not a Good look!

politifact... waiters should offer to can crush my cans when im done with them... TRUE

In reply to victor gordon

@victorgodonc Im sorry . Please buy my book

having to spell the word "lunch" instead of saying it so the boys don't get too excited

In reply to derek

@eedrk i did not blow it

In reply to slave to Woke

just embed the damn image automatically like all the other images i post. this looks like Shit.

only the finest.. @ Burbank, California https://www.instagram.com/p/BxxrV4UFTnX/?igshid=1rpkf518torj9

In reply to slave to Woke

@SuccuCirno @BoleslawKRAKOW @realihavenoidea @OneAngryGamerHD let the record show that the minor-attracted genius blocked me after i said this

twitter should let me see the profiles of people that blocked me because i gotta know whoich of these bozos are talking shit

In reply to Succubae Cirnobyl 🔞

@SuccuCirno @BoleslawKRAKOW @realihavenoidea @OneAngryGamerHD who cares. pick up a foot ball

you can tell how much of a dipshit a guy is just by looking at the face he makes while jacking off

my Ass and my Nude Ass are two separate entities , both growing more Iconic in their own right , with each passing day

ive seen like 9 separate group dms that are named "Boys Chat". 9 parallel universes, each with their own fucked up opinions regarding Lunch

betting $10 on each of the horses because all of them are my God , and every one of them has the power to physically annihilate me

alcohol is a drug, beer is alcohol, and drugs are a form of beer

In reply to Just kidding

@waif0000 Enough .

wacky sitcom premise where i accidentally arrange to get my ass kicked and have my dick sucked in the same parking lot

i think it would be fucking stupid to be a fat ass caterpillar and have your entire body be made out of weak points

Just looking at some stuff that i clicked on.

taking a Diagonal shit.

the boys on shark tank just loving my propeller beanie that sprays piss everywhere while it spins

farm fresh signature homegoods dick sucker

Mr Truth Through Pain

where are my damn freaks.. where`s my nasty Posters. where are my fuckin doofuses

Where_Gogurt_Failed.txt

some brand writes a few checks and gets shit like "#XmenDay" trending while i struggle to riase awareness for me buying an above ground pool

finally obtained a copy of the show thats making eveyone mad, dont see the big problem honestly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxPyiqIhg9Y

but who will advocate the Non-essential oils?? the oils my body could not give a shit about either way

with the engagement numbers yiou people are giving me some times i think id may be better off changing my name to "Mr Go Fuck Myself"

In reply to Lydia Tár Tár Bink’s

@robdelaney Thats not a signature bread. Thats a normal bread

Found it out the hard way that SubWay is no longer using Signature Breads. Ive been snookered. Ive been cock suckered

In reply to @Hermitwise

@Hermitwise @tlrkng bothj of you should be sent to abu ghraib for talking about your penises to me

investing like $30000 in Nike because i think people are buying a lot of shoes lately and i dont feel like looki ng up any other stock names

@patientmurderer yeah its dealing with punks like you is my job.

i refuse to go to work until sex is eliminated. are we still doing the sex strike jokes. well thats my one

slave to Woke retweeted

Today on the Show: "At War with My Teen." Also, don't miss Robin's budget beauty tips!

In reply to virgin

@wwwdotyoutube rat man got money from nsa https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQlPs62tz7w

this is what an Emissary of the Kingdom of heaven my look like. Do not engage it in combat

posting my 680 credit score durihg peak girl hours

going to deep fake some videos of myself saying some austin powers quotes flawlessly ,

slave to Woke retweeted

We announce a female sex biorhythm notification service.

slave to Woke retweeted

I Just got home from SuperTarget! I LOVE THAT STORE!!! I want to Be the Manager Someday! (I know it sounds wierd!) I'm at My friend's House

slave to Woke retweeted

bbc complaints

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@veryregularlady pain time

fun idea; for one day lets unlock all the locked accounts & lay their posts bare for the scrutiny of the Public. then ban them for cowardice

my impressions are at aln all time low!! my numbers are shit!! im fucked!! im done for!! OHhhh Noooo

In reply to leon

@leyawn @normal_now @eedrk Ive been trying not to try to be funny and cool lately and have completely developed a dissociative disorder and succeeded

Eiating a $26 Wagyu peanut butter and jelly sandwich while pushing some buttons on my watch

in fear of losing my job at panda express after telling a girl about my kidney stone ordeals and haivng it misinterpreted as sex talk

"multi verse" fuck your self. you`re only allowed to have one universe per costumed dipshit. absolutely none of this is my problem

burger king just did a $100 billion ad campaign to tell us theyre putting piss in the food now when i tell people that for free every day

thinking of Life #ThursdayThoughts #NationalDayOfPrayer #MuellerGate

the taste of Bacardi infused with the raw power of Centrum Silver

he Sighed and drank from his cup of beer very lawyerly ,

NYT: retired Geologist from indiana proposes one Simple fact which will flip every thing you thought you knew about "THE N-WORD" on its head

@bloomingdales I want you tot take this off your store

im thinking my posts arent on The NY Times Best Seller list because they have been very difficult to access lately due to Inclement weather

dragging my Pitty's and my Rotty's around in a stage coach . 11 pea brained loud mouths thrashing around for treats

the guy who forced those flight attendants to wipe his ass died and im the only one willing to put politics aside to pay the proper respects

boss waiting patiently for me to finish doing steroids and throwing up into a plastic bucket before handing me some shit he wants me to fax

fucking Dumb

Turner classic Homegoods

yes i still believe the idea of wingstop was STOLEN from game stop. my evidence? its called reality

In reply to Leah Tiscione

@LeahTiscione @eedrk I will do better next time .

getting the zone auto zone

In reply to Just kidding

@waif0000 these compilations are made for adults

watchinh bottom of the barrel live streamer fail cringe compilations while i sit here and suck on an entire hoagie like a pacifier

slave to Woke retweeted

@KingJames I WILL PUT MY SPORTS MIND UP AGAINST YOU OR ANYONE ELSE. I KNEW MORE ABOUT SPORTS WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS OLD THEN MOST PEOPLE KNOW IN A LIFETIME! YOUR ARROGANCE MAKES YOU SOUND WORSE THAN THE PRESIDENT EVER HAS!!

alone and my thoughts...

im absolutely taking this as some kind of threat

slave to Woke retweeted

Bang Bang cho cho train wind me up ill do my thing i know kartay i know kunfu mess with me ill mess with you al the way to pizza hut

slave to Woke retweeted

just last light when to a party and i pisst pump woo woo woo woo you no it bruther

ive invented a new kind of bed bugs for the toilet

my Reaction when .

i've had just gotten word that the $30 arrangement of Chef's Breads i had ordered to my home has been intercepted by trolls

The Mueller report, is hipster

16 reasons why Farm Fresh Corn on the cob could be your new Taste Obsession - Chef Édouard`s Corncob Lounge "On 3rd"

lunch cabinet

Im the only man here who injects himself with a CIA Grade Truth Serum before each and every post i make. Remember only that

In reply to kcg

@kcgreenn @andrewhussie the book that single handledly made "gaming" a house hold name

none of my pets are breathing properly . Am i the asshole (AITA)

the most important part of any account on here is the posts. if you dont have the posts youre basically finished

Rumours are having it that this next star wars is fixing to be the most twisted, for adults, and mentally ill one yet #EpisodeIX #EpisodeIX

if youre putting together graphics for your book you can just use royalty free images of chicken legs instead of normal legs and it will look fine #art #tips #help #helpful #smart… https://www.instagram.com/p/BwFhPCLFbeA/?utm_source=ig_twitter_share&igshid=95psffv338he

piss #ad

wandering aroud w/ my thumb up my ass during Civil War 2, asking people to show me their posts so i can tell if i should grenade them or not

juts donated $300000 to a lobbying firm whose main thing is letting people drive cars at the age of 6

just because im a gamer with Polio, doesnt mean i cant someday become somebody's Butler

not sure if im hearing all the lyrics, but it seems like the guy in the song "Bad to the bone" is bad because he has a lot of consensual sex

Feeling very crapped on by my followers

Im going to try posting like that now

Seems to me when you hand your money to the burger king man he takes it at 99mph but when he gives you your change back its 1mph. Oh lord!

Bacon nutella fortnite selfystick iPhone avocado kanye Mocha Latte (deep breath) triggered tinder starbucks Chipotle safe space pumpkinspice

"this is going to sound so cool" i rev the engine and it explodes, leaving me rolling around on the road with a smouldering dick & ass crack

i am not quite ready to declare this coming summer as "The Summer of Gaming" but keep up with my feed and i will let you know when i do it

if the sting ray that killed steve irwin tried to kill me i would bust its ass and crumple it up like a newspaper

before you go around muting my posts and blocking this or that , its important to consider the Shit that i bring to the table

i love shit that isnt "For" me

In reply to leigh mcG

@leighmctweets

feeding my pigs a big bag of barber hair

i want to beat the shit out of a ufo

swinging my great grandfather's nine iron around on my motorcycle and saying "Seniors Rule" every time i hit something

the anti flintstones agenda. by saying bull shit like "Yabba dabba dont" the pro-Jetsons Associated Press is flagrantly exposing their Ass.

WATCH: Low IQ single Father fooled into thinking he has been accepted to Yale at the age of 44. Savor his pain

wiki/Coprophagia/media/File:Adonis_Blue_butterflies.jpg

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprophagia#/media/File:Adonis_Blue_butterflies.jpg

(contorting entire face into an abominable purple frown) cobb salad?? that sounds fuckin STUPID

i requested 1 jeans, of 100% Legacy Deluxe Denim Menswear. what you've brought me is Classic Men's Denim Premium Wear, which, clearly sucks,

In reply to @futurevictim

@adultblackmale you don't need to tell me im beautiful because boys are out here doing it for them self this year

@celiartificial show the thread coward

In reply to @futurevictim

@adultblackmale you are a known troll and reply guy

saying something like "i only bought that nirvana album b/c it has a babys dick on it" and alternating between backpedaling & doubling down

i do support the long display names so people can change them to things like "The Discourse Is a Hell Of A Drug!!" instead of an actua lname

changing my display name to "Richerd Simmons" as an april fools prank and inducing dissociative Psychosis on millions of on-line people

as a guy who developed an autoimmune response to comedy as a result of being "Roasted" for my Ice man tattoo, ive much to say of April FOols

(seeing the RE/MAX balloon at a hockey game) shit, they got RE/MAX here? Not bad,

@waif888 yeah they need help getting right in the toilet .

In reply to Lydia Tár Tár Bink’s

@robdelaney im not verified yet but i hope to be once @JACK deals with his many personal demons .

Introvert = In vitro pervert. theyre sick

@VladTehEmailer aid's

the reason i dont address the trolls ib because i know that the truth would hurt them so much that they would probably take their own lives.

Reviewing your application for my exclusive group dm with girls in it... Hmm whats this? In 2016 you said my posts are "Family guy" ? Denied

In reply to Alexander Leset

@Video_Two its a coin

i will never use the word "Doubloon" to describe a coin

i have just gotten word that the 3d dog in Untitled 3D Dog Project (2021) can speak english, like a man

Out Here Ginding

In reply to Just kidding

@waif0000 i think i believe in those

when firiing a weapon i dont believe in recoil

slave to Woke retweeted

Fuck!!!

slave to Woke retweeted

Never Too Old To Rock ''Simpsons'' the best Tshirt eva!

pringles caliphate

star wars is back

the wga guild kicked the shit out of me and rooted through my bag and stole my screen play "husband baby" aobut a woman who marries a baby

In reply to Team Mitch (Text MITCH to 47137)

@Team_Mitch @AOC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXpIYcWpkBo

In reply to slave to Woke

@rwang0 @AdobeSummit Once again i have been blocked for starting the dialouge .

"Feel as though ive evolved beyond the need for Product, and now crave the Customer Experience"
Hubert Joly: Boy have I got the shit for you

it fucking Sucks when a store sells me shit

CEO Hubert Joly of @BestBuy said they are not in the business of "selling products, or doing transactions," they want to enrich lives with technology. They ask, "what can we do with customers?" #AdobeSummit

In reply to R “Ray” Wang 王瑞光 #1A #AI #StableDiffusion

@rwang0 @AdobeSummit No you dont

you look like the tomb raider lady Lol
Mar 22

just heard the news of jussie smollett. Feeling unsafe right now
5s

You can no longer send m

In reply to Just kidding

@waif0000 sorry for roasting your set up

slave to Woke retweeted

@EvilMonkey2013 That was vulgar and your blocked and ignorant.

saying "WOW" out loud watching youtube guy's username spin around in 3d in the 20 second intro to his video, going Psycho watching this shit

there`s no job harder than that of the Media Personality. there are so many massive pedophiles who you have to not accidentally say are good

oh forgive me for forgetting that youre too good to visit my squalid LA apartment to watch all 9 seasons of the abc sitcom "coach" as a joke

when the earths Magnetic Poles flip and everyone suddenly stops thinking script format posts are good <<< (whichever directions the bad one)

ME: I love shit that is Dunning-Kruger
NY Times: What?
WaPo: Explain your self
jeffrey Epstein: Damn lol , Nicely trolled

full time Cash Back award activator

buiyng a massive 30lb bottle of pills labelled "PussyAdvantage" for a girl on here who told me im like a more Honest version of Dane Cook...

just found out about Object Permanence... why didnt any one tell me about this shit

mastering Life calmness in the face of being called a dip shit

giving myself micro penis as punishment for my worsening posture

In reply to episode one

@E1podcast @eedrk shame on you for giving these men a platform ....

my ass isnt very good, over all. my ass and the hole of my ass are boring to think about

- the Deterioration of my Balls -

the gaming challenge: load up your video game of choice and play it until you reach the credits sequence. the gaming challenge

slave to Woke retweeted

@bucadibeppo I always stay away from restaurants that do not post their prices on their web site.......Buca Dipeppo is one of them......we'll go somewhere else tonight

pleased to eannounce that all my posts will now be about the Filipino israeli defense force, which i have recently been fooled into joining

starting to think maybe that it kicked ass when that guy siad "show me the money" in that movie i never watched

spending my honey moon in the bathroom, watching video of chef gorddon ramsey saying "Ah Fuck Me" after being served a shitty looking onion

started smoking at the advice of the "Making friends in your 50's" reddit post, quit after reading the "How to make your cum taste good" one

yes i am a "HO"

Honorable
online

waiter i would like to pay my bill , "En Pièces" (In coins)

if harvard offered to increase my IQ by one point per dollar i would simply say no. And that's the most important takeaway from all this

today; we are all Yale

In reply to leon

@leyawn i do not trust this graph as it has clearly been doctored to look like a penis

two handfuls of kitty litter taken from the beautiful hollywood home of sports broadcaster Dick Vitale , for $100 or best offer

withholding this week's Epic Games tithe until they address the issue of people on the mic calling me "Somebody Uncle"

today is international lunch day so start eating. #InternationalLunchDay

slave to Woke retweeted

@NestyXXX blowjob Your. Ass

slave to Woke retweeted

@KiaraLord blowjob Your boobs

slave to Woke retweeted

@JillKassidyy blowjob Your fimgers

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@veryregularlady its middle finger

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@veryregularlady reevaluate This. ,,/,,

they will kick my ass for saying it. they will take my career and my livelihood away from me. but "Wine" , is better than, "The News"

feel as though i could break through most walls with my bare hands , given an unlimited amount of time and resources

Funny how some people will forget to click the like button on my posts but always remember to like posts that say war crimes are good , etc

O
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8==D ~~-,.
/ \ ` Poseurs
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attempting to hand hundred dollar bills to the ailing sheldon adelson like duce nukem

slave to Woke retweeted

I'm canceling my account

Some crap happened today and I am done.

slave to Woke retweeted

Experimental Ebola vaccines

No thank you.

I will take my chances on catching the virus.

Fidgett spinners are making people dumb assed .

@celiartificial This is the reason i post .

im taking back thw word "Penis" because boys are being out here doing it for them self

consider that the possibility remains, that most of you have not yet hit the skill ceiling of wiping your ass

#foundMedia #ReallyGood https://www.instagram.com/p/BuSJPS9F6rC/?utm_source=ig_twitter_share&igshid=17jdtgwb96s33

elvis never fucked any of his fans . thats why he was "The king"

https://www.deviantart.com/woken-2010/art/norbit-135619259 Very Nice

fuck tumblr https://www.instagram.com/p/BuOD9nfl4kv/?utm_source=ig_twitter_share&igshid=vpm5j39rvbo

might fuck around and post "The Masked Shitter" , as a sort of commentary on a certain tv show with a similar name

Its 2019 and It `s only 12 pm

jacking off is " Ghetto "

when i see shit on the news saying we lost 50000 jobs for w/e reason, i say damn... i couldve scored some of those jobs, if they werent Lost

everyone needs something worth dying for..mine just happens to be the japanese racist version of the wazzup ad

In reply to slave to Woke

i was going to do it but I got scared

now from my understanding, the bra store is not only a place to get bras, but also functions as a sort of social hub, for single woman & men

entering Crisis Mode after doing one of the bath salt jokes from 2013 & getting clapped backed by a girl saying bath salts are good actually

slave to Woke retweeted

@EmmyCorinne Love you to poison me Emmy with your sexy hot Ass xxxxxxx

human sack of dog shit; holding up the self service aisle, trying to beat the system by taping balloons to the produce scale

this aint the damn barney channel

you tube has very specifically been recommending me videos of apes getting electrocuted so clearly the data indicates im some sort of mutant

if you dont down load the latest versions of all your programs youre fucking stupid

In reply to Majken von Barnhemsbrand

@veryregularlady About what .

slave to Woke retweeted

Just realised I lost my Ratban sunglasses. I don't wear any other kind. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Heelp.

the Clitoral pussy

i like to act genuinely baffled when people tell me to shut the fuck up. like "Huh? But why? The shit i post here helps people, but ok,"

if i had a million bucks i would b uy a Pregnant sears mannequin

howd would youd like a taste of my butt cheek , Punk

lord knows i help my self from time to time...

A man took sips out of his neighbor` s hummingbird feeder for over 2 years. This is what happened to his Kidneys

"The Godfather: Part Iraq" (2004) In this 4th installment of the Godfather series, the godfathers head to iraq to settle the score, of 9/11.

if the united states president deemed me a threat to our nation, absoluitely i would let him zap me in the skull. i would hand him the gun,

Shut the fuck up . Christ

And its onl y 1:pm. Thread

chose your fighter

ME: id like to use my AAdvantage rewardsPoints,
American Airlines: Im ready to pull the trigger. Go on. Drive the knife deeper into my heart

rocky homer simpson show

Mhickey Mouse Cartoon Hands Flipping The Bird Marijuana Weed for Iphone and Samsung Galaxy Case (iPhone 6 plus white)

"they shoul;d replace the cameras on cellphones with Bibles. because the Bible is like a camera into your soul" - michio kaku

open letter, to the man who told me that they should make an app for "Shutting the fuck up" during my town hall web development conference ;

It Is said, that the online content creator absorbs the combined pain of every follower 24 hrs a day—and that is why they cry in saddness...

wildly agreeing with some shit im reading in the newspaper that says like "There is nothing more Iconic, than Milk and Cereal"

ihate it when a doddering Nanny yanks me by the ear lobe, right when im about to click "Like" on a big plate of sausages

you say "36,000 pounds of chicken nuggets recalled by the Tyson Foods corporation due to possible rubber contamination" ... i say "LUNCH'

laughing all the way to the bank, but only because the guy walking in front of me is wearing a twisted t-shirt............

What is it that you first seek when inspecting a profile which presents a potential networking opportunity

In reply to working artist

@hottubslumber @waif0000 @bicyclememes Are you accusing me of being "Gaga" for waif0000 ??

In reply to ????

@bicyclememes No thats too far .

slave to Woke retweeted

I Am King of pain to evil.

slave to Woke retweeted

Have u heard the 10 coolest soundimmg cars on youtube

it's balls to ass like the sheriff say